Saved by the Bell

We went to the mall yesterday to check out Mandalorian and Grogu toys. It's always a treat for me since we're being cautious. Anyway, it was a weekday and we thought there would be less people. 

We were wrong because it felt like a weekend. We went around slowly since I still use a wheelchair (so I don't overwork my heart). Malls here try to be PWD friendly, but from my experience they need to improve. 

Anyway, as usual, I almost got clobbered by people walking backwards. Miggy would always avoid people, but there are those who are unmindful. I had to use the bicycle bell* to catch their attention. Most people forget they are in public places and should be mindful. That's the reason why I installed it on my wheelchair because I've had near-accidents even at the hospital. 

*I got this in a Daiso branch in Japan and was saving it for a future bicycle. Getting a bicycle is not happening soon, so I just used it.

#BeKind #StaySafe

Be Kind also to Persons with Invisible Disabilities

I lost my greatest ally last year, my Mom. She understood perfectly that I wasn't functioning normally anymore. I didn't have to explain to her why I finally went home. She just knew and protected me as much as she could.

When you look at me, you won't think I have serious medical conditions. I guess that's God's gift to me. Let her look normal, but let's hide all her issues. I always get weird looks from guards whenever we park on PWD parking. Weirder looks when I give my PWD card at restaurants. At the clinic yesterday, the medtech didn't bother to ask me if I was okay while I was gasping for breath after being asked to lie down for an ultrasound. And the other medtech had to be told to help me move the foot stool so I could get up on the bed.

I'm a fighter. My pulmo rehab team have recommended for me to use a wheelchair whenever I'm out. I insist to walk because my legs still function. They are worried my heart will be strained with the effort. 

What people dont notice is I stop every 10-15 steps or I walk very slowly. Every 3 steps on stairs, I take a break. I also always have either Sweetie or Miggy assisting me. Yes, I look normal, but my lungs and heart are not. I could easily faint if I'm not careful. My doctor requires me to always have someone around whenever I putter around the garden.*

And that's why I keep mostly to myself and stay home. I don't want to bother others since they don't understand my medical condition. Only a handful of people do. I see friends in a similar plight raising awareness about invisible disabilities. Sadly, very few can really grasp it.

To have an idea if my circumstance, just think you're carrying a 30 kilogram backpack all the time. Can you imagine the weight? Now think you're carrying the heavy backpack up the viewing deck at Chocolate Hills. Can you feel the strain on your body? That's how I feel most of the time, even when I'm in bed. Can you still breathe? 

I've had to keep to myself. I avoid people who don't understand that I'm on a different path. My pace is different and I cannot possibly follow the norm. Since I lost Mom I had to learn to set boundaries to protect my wellbeing, my mind, my spirit, and what energy I have left. I'm grateful I have people around me who understand, provide guidance and prayers. 

So, please be kind also to people with Invisible disabilities.

*It's probably why our cats always hang out with me whenever I water the plants. They are watching over me.

#BeKind #StaySafe