The Photo that Inspired Me

I rested the whole day yesterday. The boys told me I was on stricter house arrest after I had a severe asthma attack the other night. What caused it was the bad air quality. I took in a lungful while I was admiring the sky. I realized that the dirty air here is different from Singapore. In Singapore I could easily tell when the air quality is bad. I'm probably used to it here so I can't tell the difference. Anyway, I slept most of the day and feel better now. 

I'll still take it easy today so my body can recover fully. I think I'll work on the vinta throw pillow quilt. It was inspired by a photo of VP Leni when she visited Zamboanga recently. I was so stressed out last week with the news, I thought it would be better to channel my frustration to something else. The photo served as an inspiration. I set aside the tshirt quilt project to work on this first (yet again haha). 

Here's the design of the throw pillow quilt I'm working on -

Getting stressed over something I can't control was really bad for me. I got sick and this is what my doctors told me to avoid. Stress causes your immune system to be compromised and the blood test I got proved I had an infection. The first thing I had to do was de-stress. I got over it by channeling my frustration to something good. The photo of VP Leni with the vintas in the background inspired me to be creative. I think that's a good way to cope with stress. 

Seeing posts related to the elections is unavoidable. Much as I'd like to participate more, my body just can't cope with the stress. I'll just pray hard for a good and honest elections. I'm also praying for those still in the dark side to finally see the light. I'll let my able-bodied friends do the campaigning. And thanks to my friend Chelle who sent me some tarps! 

She also sent me this super cute milk tea earrings. You can get it from her Shopee shop at https://shopee.ph/chellebrate. I love the earrings and have been wearing it at home haha. 

#BeKind #StayHome

Go for Gold

I've been watching videos on YouTube on Hidilyn Diaz and she's inspiring me a lot. The Olympic gold medalist went through a lot of challenges before she won. She was stranded in Malaysia and had to train on her own. That meant she didn't have any proper equipment. A good samaritan Malaysian took her in and helped train her. I read he was the president of the weightlifting association (thank you sir!). One news video showed her using makeshift items for training. 

In Boy Abunda's interview with Hidilyn after she won a silver medal at the Rio Olympics, she said that the first thing she'd do every morning is pray. She shared also that through her challenges she felt that God became her best friend through prayer. She doesn't believe so much in luck, but she believes in hardwork and letting God do the rest. In her interview with ABS-CBN Teleradyo she reaffirmed this and said she surrendered everything to God during the competition. 

This gives me so much hope that things will be okay. I have been worried the past two weeks because of the new findings. This new challenge is something that I should just surrender to God's Will. At the same time I have to do what I can to avert disaster and make myself strong. This is the journey that I am on now and as Hidilyn Diaz keeps saying in her interviews, "Dream high, go for gold!" 

Thank you for the inspiration Hidilyn :)

PS I also discovered Hidilyn Diaz has a vlog! Go check it out.

Day 27 Gratitude Challenge, A gift you received. My favorite gift nowadays is my sewing machine which Sweetie gave me for Christmas. I've been learning how to use it properly the past few months. I think I'm getting the hang of it and I'm finally able to make straight stitches. I had been dilly-dallying about getting myself a sewing machine because I'm happy sewing by hand. I wanted to try using the sewing machine, but I wasn't sure I would commit to it. I dragged getting one for years, so Sweetie just got one for me haha. I'm so happy he did because I've been having pain in my hand and arm when I sew by hand too much. Getting the sewing machine forced me to learn new sewing skills too. Thank you Sweetie :D

CB///*Yr2/110 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/133 #NewG336 #Home94 #StayHome #BeKind 

Live for Love

Happy Easter everyone! 

This is the second Easter I'm celebrating far away from my family. Good thing technology now allows us to keep in touch with each other easily. It's been a very long, strange journey for all of us. We each have had to carry our crosses. We each bear it differently. 

I normally do a Lenten sacrifice. The harder ones I did was when I gave up soda and milk tea. I didn't do one this year because I'm already carrying a heavy cross - my medical condition. Instead of abstaining from something I instead nourished my spirit. 

Knowing God loves me makes me unafraid. That's how I've been able to bear my cross. I am grateful for my family and friends who continue to pray for me and provide me counsel.

May you have a blessed Easter my friend. 

CB///359  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/22 #StayHome #BeKind   

That Time I Gave Up, My Life Got Better

Many years ago I was a mess. I wasn't happy and was continuously getting disappointed with my choices. I was single for a long time already at that time and I was mulling whether I was meant for single blessedness. I already had Miggy and thought I could just go for my Phd. The funny thing is I gave myself a deadline.

I prayed for it. I told Papa God if I was meant to marry I should be in a relationship on or before September 30, 2007. If there wasn't anyone I'd enroll in graduate school and would just focus on that and Miggy. That was my plan and I had already accepted my fate. 

I was on my way home from San Francisco on September 26 and I was in the plane when I realized my deadline was coming up. I was really bent on following the deadline. I gave myself that expectation because I wanted to move forward. I made a desperate plea to Papa God and told him things were really not going well, this is how my plea went -

"Dear Papa God, it's a few days before my deadline. I messed up again. I've been making bad decisions and I give up. Can you please take over and navigate my life? If by the 30th I'm not in a relationship then I'd accept my fate and will dedicate my life to serving you."

Arrived in Manila early morning of September 28. I was badly jetlagged and ended up chatting with Sweetie in the evening. Our friendship deepened that year, we were best friends by that time. I had that strange wedding dream which involved Sweetie, but I never told him about it. I set it aside because our friendship was more precious for me. 

That night, around 1 in the morning Sweetie said he wanted to tell me something important. It took him almost an hour and a half before he was able to tell me he thought about being more than friends. 

And the rest is history. 

Like wow oh wow, that's how God wrote my love story. And that's how when I gave up, He took over and made my life better. 

CB//192 #StuckAtHomeDay/222 #WFH131 #StayHome #BeKind

Inspiration

When I got sick in July I almost went to the dark side. Being unable to breathe does that to you. The pneumonia wasn't as bad as the first time I had it, I was probably paralyzed more by fear. At that time I didn't feel I was getting any better despite seeing my doctor every other day. He gave me meds after meds after meds. There was this medicine that affected me long after I stopped taking it. It was either I take more of it or I just wait it out until it was completely out of my system. It took almost two months before the effects from it went away.

I was angry at first, then sad, then depressed. I was spiraling down an unknown path for me. I almost gave up. My family was very supportive and understanding. What broke the free fall was getting inspired. I became a couch potato and I stayed connected with the world by reading posts on social media for almost 3 weeks. Through all the grayness I was thinking about how I could get myself out of the rut I was in. I snapped out of it when I saw the posts of teacher friends who were helping other teachers learn how to use technology in the classroom.

I remembered why I do what I do and why I keep fighting to be alive. I was able to hang on because of my family, it was getting inspired that pulled me out of the rut I was in. I felt like an old car sputtering back to life after being jump started (on second gear, pushed down the road with you turning the key and stepping on the gas). After a few days I went back to work even though I wasn't feeling 100% yet. It was the adrenaline rush from being inspired that kept me going and even made me well enough to travel to Rome.

So I thought that I'd start the year by firming up my gratefulness muscle by finding things that inspire me every day. This will help me build my well of strength since I know I still have a lot to go through in order to be 100% well.

What about you, what inspires you?

Inspiration

My managers never really had trouble motivating me. I'm a well-oiled working machine employee. My managers are also oftentimes traveling to faraway lands so I'm oftentimes left alone and they know that I'll be working. My Catholic-school upbringing takes care of making me feel guilty if I slack off haha. There are days though I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I know it's really up to me to put me back on track.

I think being inspired and motivated boils down to also being grateful. When you are grateful you are able to see more clearly all the blessings that come your way. And when you are grateful it's easier to recognize achievements. When you are grateful you also easily become happy for others.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed last Monday. I wasn't feeling too well and oftentimes when I don't feel well things tend to go downhill. I still got up though and started my work day. Ploughed through everyting I needed to do. Visitors kept me busy for most of the week and I used Meng's advise on how to still be at your best even though you're feeling anxious (see also "How to be Joyful on Demand"). And well it's also about being professional :)

Mid-week though I received really happy news. One of the schools from my home city achieved getting all their teachers certified. It is no mean feat and required a lot of hardwork across the school. The full commitment of the school and the hardwork of our partner that brought them to succeed. And it inspired me a lot. It inspired me so much I designed a program that would help others do the same. It's been three days and I'm still on cloud 9 after the news. I hope and pray they will continue what they have started since it will really help them develop each of their students.

Be grateful and be inspired :)

What about you? What inspires you?

Do We Always Want to Focus on Darkness?

Asked the priest this morning during his homily in today's mass.

Do you always worry?

Do you always think about the bad things?

Do you spend more time noticing what's not good?

Do you always seek to find what's wrong?

The question brought me out of my daydream. My mind had wandered off to the last episode of TIMY and I was thinking about the issues of Ali and Stephen when I heard the question. I have that bad habit of zoning out when I'm supposed to be focusing on something (like homilies, sorry Papa God), but oftentimes snap right back at the moment when I'm supposed to listen. The priest went on and drilled to personal questions like do you worry about your health? Your finances? Your marriage? Everything?

Everyone worries the priest said, but that's not we should be focusing on. I realized then that I do tend to worry a lot and this stresses me out. I get sick when I get stressed (Dr. Koo won't be happy!). This thought brought me back to the time when I felt so much despair in my life. I had recovered from my broken heart at that time, but my life wasn't exactly where i wanted it to be. It was when I gave up and told God to please just take over and bring me where I should be.

After that I was directed to the right path and eventually found happiness. I had been worrying a lot the last few weeks and it's probably why my sinus infection is taking so long to clear up. Aside from personal stuff I've also been worrying about what's happening back home and what's happening to the world. I have been making it a point not to comment on current events in my social media accounts to lessen the stress (for me and for others). I told myself though that I would rather focus on finding solutions than ranting about it so that I could contribute to a better world in my own little way.

So I think what I will do is focus on the positive. I've asked my boys to help me on reaching my wellness goals by having them create their own targets too. Part of the goal is to collect a weekly "what I am thankful for" list and we'll read this for new year next year. And for the bad things I tend to think about, I'll practice the deep breathing technique Chade Meng Tan taught us last year.

Look Out!

Have you looked at the sky lately?

I was on my way home one day and saw how pretty the sky was.

Sometimes when I am so bothered about something, buying several sets of curtains (yes curtains) isn't enough... just looking out and seeing that the sky is blue (or peach, pink and not gray) reminds me that tomorrow might be a better day.