Don't Be Too Good

Got a book last weekend at the bookstore, "Love for Imperfect Things". It caught my eye because of it's headline which reads, "How to accept yourself in a world striving for perfection". 

I am honestly behind with reading the mountain of books I've been getting. My eyes have gone bad again. I probably need to get new eyeglasses again. The book I just bought though was printed on really nice paper and the font and spacing is just right. It's been an easy read for me. I'm relieved because I've been wanting to read a book for awhile now. 

I bought the book as part of my healing journey. I absolutely despised myself for getting sick. I'm over that hump now and have accepted that things happen. I've also accepted that I could have taken care of myself better. I realize now I could have avoid a lot of these issues if I avoided the danger I had put myself in - namely too much stress. 

Chapter 1 of the book talks about self-care. The message of the chapter revolved around being kinder to yourself and that you shouldn't pressure yourself to please others. "Don't think you are lovable only when you succeed at what the world demands. You are already worth of love."

I pushed myself too hard and tried my best to deliver what was expected from me. A lot of people were already saying it was too much. I should have pushed back harder, but it's always been so hard for me to say no. Looking back, I should have heeded to the warning signs. 

"Don't be too good." 

"Your existence is always enough."

My friends also kept telling me that I don't need to keep proving myself. "You have done a lot," said my seatmate last Friday. "You deserve this break. Just focus on getting well." And that''s what I'm working on right now. If you feel that things are too overwhelming, it's okay to take a break and it's definitely okay to remove yourself from a situation you feel is dangerous for you. Getting too stressed over something is never worth it. 

Day 19 Gratitude Challenge, Something about work. One thing I'm really grateful about work is the support they have been giving me as I go through all these medical issues. I haven't done any work since mid-December, but they have reassured me to not worry and just focus on getting well. That's truly helped me a lot in the past couple of months. Thank you G. 

CB///*Yr2/102 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/127 #NewG344 #Home102 #StayHome #BeKind