Boo! Awooo! Arf! Arf! Arf!

It is hallows eve once again and I am scared to move away from my PC and go to my room to rest. Why? Because I think I can see dead people again tonight. The hairs at the back of my neck are prickling with awareness. I feel like someone's looking in from the window. I am feeling skirmish about my dog's movements outside my window. I can also hear cats hissing and running around in the backyard. Oh boy, I'm sticking it out here in my study room with Miguel for the meantime.

My imagination is running wild that's what it is.

I couldn't help but be scared because sometimes I do see and feel things. Stuff that are unexplainable, unbelievable, makatindig balahibo but logic always prevails except on halloween. I am usually sick during halloween and I get more sick whenever I am asked to go to the cemetery. Don't ask me why, maybe it's psychological or something, but it happens every year.

So, I'm stuck here at home. I would've gone out with some of my neighbors for some catching up, but they're still stuck at work and have re-scheduled. Oh well, I guess I'll do some online chores and probably catch up with some friends (I'm sick and can't move around that much) and post in Tales from the Moonless Sky. Go on... scare yourself silly and visit my ghost story blog (which I do with Anne and Harry).

How I miss the Halloween parties I used to host here at home, well maybe next year -



Happy Halloween!

Photo by me, hehe, that was back in Halloween 2004.

A Starry Weekend

My original weekend plans did not push through, so I was left with free time! Woohoo!!! And what a fabulous weekend it was -

1. What was the Twisted Wedding Planner doing in this event?


2. Fan meets MYMP!


3. And meets Thor during his album "Soul Obsessions" launch where he does duets with a lot of artists including some of my favorites like Sofia, Nina, MYMP, Luke Mejares, and violinist Jerome Nunez.


4. Where did the Lakwatsera get this yummy burger?


5. But, nothing beats these stars. LOL.


#1,2 and 3 photos by Sweetie.

Sunday Video: Fruitcake

I know it's an hour after midnight already, so it's technically Monday! But then not technically still Sunday night... so since I've been playing Christmas songs the past few days I thought I'd share one of my favorite Christmas songs by the Eraserheads.

58 days before Christmas! Start making your lists!

Mindanao Bloggers Summit

I'm going to miss it today... huhuhu...

Here's what I was supposed to talk about -



Miss you guys!

P.S. Pasensya na po, nakalimutan ko magsuklay LOL.

Light a Fire

"To light a fire."

The first time I heard that line was when I was a kid. It was a bit vague at first coz it came from elders and as a kid growing up and spending more time with elders rather than kids my age, I just learned to observe and listen. It was a story told over and over again by my parents and their friends.

It was only while I was taking up Political Science in DLSU that I fully understood what "To light a fire" meant. It was actually a group, a movement that was put together during Martial Law to bring awareness to what was happening during that time. I believe Tito Ed's (Olaguer) book "Light a Fire" would explain better what exactly it was that they did during that time that got them arrested (I haven't read it, sorry Tito!). Anyway, they usually have a lot of laughs whenever they regale stories about that time.

Mom mentioned it again over lunch and the words struck me. To light a fire. I know there are a lot of things happening in our surroundings again and I know I may sometimes seem apathetic here in my blog, but I do care. My Dad's a lawyer and we usually have endless discussions about what's happening (I'm a political scientist after all!), but what exactly can I do? That's what I've been thinking about the whole day.

I'm no politician, no leader, I've no followers, so I'm basically just one person among 90 million other Filipinos, and my parents always told me that I should start in my backyard with my own family, then followed by helping out in my community. Diyan pa lang plus my work, my family, my Sweetie, fully booked na ako to the maximum levels.

So, this week, I started out with my closet - targeting to fill-up a huge balikbayan box with clothes, shoes and bags that may be of better use by others. Then I've donated my other PC to our parish (will deliver it within the weekend) and I've promised our parish priest to make another issue of our parish newsletter. I'm also helping out some charities (see links at the right side) one way or the other.

I think that's a better way of doing things instead of ranting and griping about things. DO SOMETHING. LIGHT A FIRE and keep this burning.

What do you think YOU can do?

P.S. Public service announcement for a friend, you may check for PRC Board Exam Results here.

Crazy 8

Anne tagged me for this meme, I haven't done any meme for quite some time already so I thought this would be something to blog about, but I've done several "random facts", "things you didn't know about me" etc. memes so I thought I'd modify the tag a bit -

1. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
2. Tag eight people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
3. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

I don't just wanna do random facts... I wanna do 8 crazy random facts about me and these are things that drive me crazy or stuff I do that drive people crazy:

1. My desk is always in a state of organized chaos. Don't dare move anything coz I hate looking for things.

2. I am a pack rat. Okay, okay I've been trying to be less of a pack rat by targeting to fill-up one whole balikbayan box (the really big rectangular one) with old clothes. Goodbye to my favorite daster. Boohuhuhuhu. And I remember back in college I had this favorite sneakers. It already had a hole and was already yellowed with age, but I didn't want to dispose of it. So, I decorated it with three-dimensional glow-in-the-dark paint. My Mom stole it one day and I never saw it again. Huhuhu.

3. I have bags of all shapes, sizes, make, but I prefer using native bags. I can probably fill out another balikbayan box with old bags. Sheesh.

4. I had my closet painted bloody red. I like it, but my Mom almost fainted when she saw what I had done.

5. I like making people fat! Ask my former colleagues, friends, Miguel and Sweetie.

6. I hate disentangling knots. Yuck.

7. I love doing the dishes, but please take off the leftovers (paglilino). Euuw.

8. I love doing costings, projections, research and doing a full business plan, that's why I wanna study again and I can go on and on and on talking about insights from a research study I've done. Yeah, yeah, I know, they used to call me the company nerd. So? LOL. I don't mind, I love what I do.

I'm not tagging anyone, if you wanna do it... do it or leave a comment and lemme know 8 crazy things about you.

The Secret Behind My Smile

I have a secret that only my community/parish knows.

Shhhh... quiet... baka may makarinig.

Only a handful of you probably know or have read my Homegrown blog. It's actually my column for our Parish' newsletter. Yeah, I'm its editor and that's something that I just normally keep within the realms of my neighborhood, that's because my neighbors, my Titas and Titos, my childhood friends, my co-parishioners don't actually know what I do for a living. All they know is I've been really busy the past year and I haven't done my job to produce (at least quarterly) our newsletter and I'm being hunted down already by our parish priest the past few months to do another issue. Heh.

So, that's my secret and the reason behind my Homegrown blog. I fancy doing inspirational writing. I'm no expert in it mind you. I just like writing. Period. And if it inspired people, well, that's fine too! I remember writing something a few months ago for a friend who was in a really huge rut, she was so touched, she cried and was soon back to normal. Well, I hope I'll manage to budget my time more properly so I can do that again.

I remain cheerful despite everything I've been through. I guess I've finally managed to shove out all my baggage that's why I can safely say I can glow like a star without any apprehensions (uyyy favorite ko ang Stardust!). It takes time mind you. It took me more than a decade and what's important is to always be positive, try to keep yourself out of a rut, huwag mapipikon, avoid ranting and have a lot of sense of humor. Life is just really funny sometimes and as Bugs Bunny (daw) said, "Do not take life seriously. After all, no one has ever come out of it alive."

I'm finally devoid of all that teenage and quarter life crisis angst! How I love being in my 30s! LOL.

Be happy! And be inspired!

What is it About Tea?

I admit, there are days that my mind's really cluttered with so many things and I get soooo distracted. That usually happens on Mondays. Weekend hang-over perhaps? AJ calls it post-vacation depression, so this must be post-weekend depression. LOL.

I was totally distracted the whole day, jumping from one task to another and then back to another task. Argh! It's frustrating especially since I was all geared up to have a productive day. I just basically stared at my PC most of the day, managed to do some mundane tasks that I have been putting off and I'm glad to have those taken off my list. BUT, I had important tasks and it was what I wanted to cross-off my list.

And then I remembered... Lipton Hot Tea sent me a package with some samples of their green tea. I love drinking tea. I learnt how to drink tea when I was an exchange student in Japan back in high school. And, mind you, green tea in Japan is strong but I liked it and when I discovered peppermint green tea I got hooked.


So I quickly got the package and dropped a teabag in my Mickey Mouse mug filled with hot water (I like my stuff to be interestingly cute). A few minutes after drinking tea I finally managed to relax and do the tasks I've been wanting to do the whole day. And I flew through everything and even managed to check-up on some past work I did. I only stopped working at around 10ish because Sweetie called. (Oh noes I missed PBB again!).

I also checked on the email that Lipton sent me and I just had to chuckle because the subject of the email was "Coping with stress in the work place: Get in the Zone with Lipton Hot Tea". If I read through that email, I would've saved myself a lot of time agonizing over pushing myself to focus. Why? Because Lipton Hot Tea has Theanine in it and it's supposed to "induce a state of relaxation, Theanine in tea decreases cluttering of the mind. Studies have shown that Theanine, which is an amino acid, produces a stimulating effect on the brain’s alpha waves thus improving the person’s mental ability. This amino acid is related to glutamine, which, among its other functions, serves as an alternative fuel to the brain. Theanine can also cross the blood-brain barrier, and because it can enter the brain, this amino acid has psychoactive properties."

LOL.

Lesson learned: next time READ the whole email message!

Well, if you wanna learn more about how to get into a relaxed state I suggest visiting Lipton's Get in the Zone website. Oh and thanks to Lipton for the bag of stuff. I looooove the shirt too!

Now, I think I'm going to call it a night. Good night world!

Sunday Video: Now That I Have You

"Now that I have You" composed by Trina Belamide is one of my favorite songs. Just wanted to share this inspiring rendition by 6stringer from his Youtube channel.

I finally managed to watch "Stardust"! I don't even remember the last time I watched a movie and since the Global Pinoy bazaar at the Rockwell tent was surprisingly a small affair (most of the vendors were also at Magnet last September), Sweetie and I had time to watch our first movie and everyone who twitted about how nice it was were correct. Here are some lines from Yvainne (the fallen star) -

You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

(Highlights added).

Thank You and a Wedding

I don't know what got into me, when I got home from the wedding (more of that below) I was quite hyperactive (despite the fact that I could barely walk) and thought that since I was all dolled up to try out doing a video. So in honor of the Toblerone Thank You concert I missed tonight, here's my little thank you video experiment. (I just used my webcam on my almost 3-year old PC with no editing).



And some of you might have followed my Twits today about going to a wedding. Yup! The Twisted Wedding Planner strikes yet again! I did not do a full coordination this time coz I've been so busy, so I just basically helped out for the wedding and gave the bride, my friend Mabel, some tips. Are you in love? Planning to get married? Wishing you were engaged? Or just plain mushy? Visit the Twisted Wedding Planner for a dose of wedding stew. (I'll blog more about Mabel's wedding at TWP).



And what's with the update on the "When God Writes Your Love Story"? Read about the reason behind that kilig smile in the video.

Missing the Blast

I left for Makati early this morning for a series of meetings and I was basically shuttling from one place to another including the Greenbelt and Glorietta area. I was amazed with the white stars strewn all over posts and trees in Makati Avenue, Ayala and Paseo de Roxas. They were quite pretty and I thought they looked like snow clinging on tree barks (malabo po kasi mata ko). I thought I'd take some photos and blog about it when I got home.

Little did I know that just a few minutes after I left Greenbelt that the blast happened. My meeting ended at around 1:10 p.m. and I was glad I had a bit of time to run to the restroom before proceeding to Salcedo Village. I even managed to appreciate again the stars on Paseo de Roxas Avenue, but forgot to take photos.

During my meeting my phone kept buzzing and towards the end of the meeting my Mom kept calling and calling. I only finally excused myself to answer the call after seeing some Twits about the incident. My Mom was apparently in a panic because she knew I was in the area (sorry Mom for not answering immediately!) and when I answered her call she demanded to know where I was and ordered me to go home immediately. I was really planning to go home after my last meeting because I've not been feeling well since Thursday night and postponed my Glorietta date with my best friend.

I had a hard time getting a cab at Salcedo Village and I rode the first FX I saw. It was on its way to Glorietta/Landmark. Traffic!!! Went down at the terminal area and skirted the area. I didn't know what exactly happened so I just quickly walked towards Pasay Road, but there were policemen, ambulances and media people all over the place. Run Aileen run!!! But I did a quick stop over at Wendy's to use their restroom and that's where I overhead an old lady tell her story -

"Nasa third floor ako ng Glorietta nung may marinig ako na malakas na pagsabog. Tatlong pagsabog, sunud-sunod. Umalog yung buong building. Oo, grabe, anlakas talaga. Tapos everything was black. Dumapa na lang kami nun. Tapos yung mga gwardiya sinasbihan na lang kami na huwag magpanic tapos tinulungan kaming makalabas."

Gulp. I missed what she said after that coz I had to attend to a very pressing matter (#1!). I was kinda dazed, feeling feverish and I just wanted to go home. Everything felt surreal, weird and blah. The white stars all over the place just didn't seem to fit anymore. It's like having brown-out while you're singing a happy Christmas carol during Christmas eve's midnight mass.

Miguel had tears in his eyes when he arrived from school. He was very worried about me because I asked his permission the night before to have early dinner with Anne. So, he knew I'd be hanging out in the area after my meetings. I was greatly surprised and enveloped in a huge hug when he saw me. Awww baby, don't worry, Mommy's okay.

I'm lucky again. I just hope and pray that whoever did this would stop and allow our country to move forward. And I hope they remember that they have families and loved ones too.

Love, Music and Friendship

My brain's been muddled up lately with a lot of things (isn't that usual?) and I just don't really know what to blog about! Too many things buzzing around my head and I just couldn't get a handle on what I should post about. Well... I did manage to post something on my work blog about the newest gadget on iGoogle (Blogger Play) after realizing I haven't done a post for 2 weeks already and something about bridal showers in the Twisted Wedding Planner. See? Sometimes it's really better to have a niche blog, at least you know what exactly you should post about. Sigh.

So, I'm doing a random thoughts post. Pffffttt.

1. "You'll just know," is what all my married friends told me when I asked them about "How will you know if he's the one?" And after ranting about my ideal guy, my type of guy, whether it's better to be single or married, I finally have an answer! Yes! The sky is fantastically falling! I finally have a love story to tell. And, I think, my Dad's poem for my Mom (which he wrote about 50 years ago) says it best. You will just know. And for my Gtalk contacts... sorry for being so mushy and cheesy the past few weeks. Tao lang po. LOL.

2. Love is simple. I always believed that love is not complicated. That when it comes, it just falls right into place. No hitches. No hassle. No apprehensions. No anxiety. And the best thing is to be with your best friend. I've met a lot of guys. And I've even made a list on what kind of guys to stay away from based on my experience. It's gotten so bad that I really given up and I was entertaining spinsterhood thoughts on my way back from the US. LOL.

3. Rachel Anne Wolfe and the Aquarela Band. Attended Rachel Anne Wolfe's "Cool" album launch at Fully Booked last October 12, Friday with Sweetie. If you're a child of the 80s I'm sure you'd remember Rachel Anne Wolfe since she's one of GMA's stars. I was quite surprised that she sings (well I don't really remember) and she's still very pretty. She was very down to earth and very much into the internet like her brother, Richard Merk who couldn't stop saying "Google made my life easier!" when I met him.

I also met the Aquarela Band couple, Miguel and Evelyn Juteau, who does bossa nova. I've only listened to a sample of their work in the Multiply account and will most probably borrow Sweetie's CD. I think it would be interesting to listen to since the snippet showed me a different take on bossa nova music. Too bad I missed Sitti's recording of her new album! Arggghhh. Jetlag!!!

I was too shy to have my photo taken with Rachel Anne Wolfe, but I managed to have one taken with the couple (Photo by Jay).


4. Meeting a famous composer. When my best friend and I started hanging out last January, I've experienced meeting a number of celebrities because of him and I've always been starstruck (and when you're in a roomful of media people, it gets quite obvious hehe). Ewanko ba ambabaw ko kasi eh. And when I met famous, award-winning composer, Trina Belamide (she "Tell the World of His Love", "Now that I have You", "You've Made Me Stronger) among others), I was starstruck again. Sweetie's always full of surprises, I dunno who I'm going to meet next. Hehehe, I don't think I'll get used to it ever.

Here's one of her award-winning songs (Overall Second Prize, 1999 USA
Songwriting Competition) -



5. My brain's really mashed up, so here are some photos from the past week -

Taste Asia "3" with Jehzeel, Andrew, Karlo and Miguel. Thanks to Bella of SM Hypermarket for assisting me when I did some grocery shopping! (Photo from Andrew)


At Bonifacio High Street with Andrew, Jay (a.k.a. Sweetie), Juned, Rico and Sasha. (Photo from Andrew)


My second family during Mabel's despidida de soltera. "So who's next?" my Mom asked. (Photo from Micholle taken by Sweetie). (See? Miguel's taller than me now!).

Why I Think I'm Green

Green, not De La Salle green archer (but I'm one), nor the funny green kind, but green, the environment-friendly kind. I'm writing this post for the Blog Action Day organization which has chosen the raise awareness about the environment and I think you still have time to make a post if you have a blog (since we are GMT+8:00 here in Manila).

Anyway, I don't think I help much with regard to protecting the environment (if I had time I'd love to help out in a cause or something), but I do help in my own little way by doing the following:

1. I segregate trash. I'm our household's official dishwasher whenever we don't have a helper and I make sure I segregate wet and dry trash. Leftovers are always fed to Patch (our retarded dog) and my Mom has made it a rule to always store plastic bags properly so they could be recycled.

2. No rice left-over on the plate. I've witnessed how farmers go about producing the rice that's served on our tables and seeing how IRRI's protecting this valuable crop reinforced what my parents taught us when we were kids, "Huwag magtira ng kahit isang butil ng kanin sa plato."

3. Use native products. I prefer using baskets and Filipino made craft-products rather than plastic boxes to store my stuff. I also love using native bags made of indigenous materials rather than imported leather bags (I have some but they are mostly gifts).

4. Recycle! I admit, I'm a pack-rat and I don't throw away stuff easily, and that includes ribbons and gift wrappers which I could re-use. I remember recycling old stockings and retaso for some Christmas frames I did a while back. I got that trait from my Mom and you should see her make new stuff out of materials that are supposed to be trash.

5. Preserve things that can be used by the next generation. I always took care of my things. I have toys and stuff that I had since I was a kid and I have passed it on to Miguel (i.e. my Lego). I've also inherited some stuff from my Lola when she passed away.

I think the greatest contribution our family has done for the environment is fight for the preservation of the beach front in our province (Camangui, Pasacao, Camarines Sur). Our neighbor built an illegal port beside our place and it's been really disappointing to see how the beach is becoming polluted from the stuff coming out of the ships that dock in their port. It's an illegal port! Sniff.

Anyway, what about you? What little things do you do to protect the environment?

Anonymous

My Twitter has 200 followers now! (Now, if only I could get all of them to sign-up for my feeds... nah, it's not important, I don't really expect anyone to read this silly blog of mine).

Anyway, but apparently some people read my blog and the other day a colleague of mine asked me if the loss of my anonymity doesn't bother me. To be honest, I never expected to meet so many people and be thrust in the limelight because of my work. I do get embarrassed by the attention and more often than not I just want to hide and work in my basement. I also get positive and negative feedback and unwanted attention (translation: stalked!).

So, does it bother me? No. It took me a while to stop hyperventilating over things (approximately 3 months!) and I guess you just really have to take things in stride. It's all in a day's work.

Sometimes we erroneously think that people know us, when, in fact, nobody actually knows who you are (kilala ka ba ng katabi mo sa jeep?). I remember this old guy who came up to me in a function, he said, "Don't you know me?" I said in the most polite way I could, "I'm really sorry, but I don't, may I have your name sir?" He laughed, sort-of like "You should know me," and he actually said over and over again, "You should know me!"

I was a bit embarrassed and realized that I really do need to do more research before attending events and stuff, so I asked again, "May I know your name sir?" He just gave me his internet name and said I should just search for him online. I thought that it was quite rude and then asked some of my friends who he was. "Someone you should stay away from," they said. Good thing I did. And then there's this other guy who walks in a room and expects people to know who he is and he thinks he's so important he doesn't normally answer his mail. Why? "So that they'd think I'm a really busy person." Yabang.

I hope I never turn into someone like that. Think about it... there are billions of people on earth and do you honestly think a million people would actually know who you are? Well, unless you are a real-huge celebrity, a politician or a notorious criminal, then I think it is safe to assume that one is still very much anonymous.

And besides, isn't Anonymous very popular? Go figure.

On Writing and Blogging

A few months ago we made a claim in a Bobcast that Doogie Howser is the first blogger and Carrie Bradshaw in "Sex in the City" was also kinda blogging. Both were just actually writing an electronic diary (coz I never saw them publish it online). Blogging after all is one's online journal - may it be a personal blog, a photoblog, art blog, micro-blog or whatever - it IS still a diary of sorts.

I've been writing since I was a kid (8 to be exact). It was my Mom who encouraged me to write by giving me a small hardbound notebook (it's still around here somewhere). I started out just writing down stuff I did for the day (i.e. Today Dad and I went to Jollibee, may Jollibee na nun!) and I also wrote a lot of letters to my friends and sent it by postal mail (I collected stamps too!). And then I eventually wrote through my PC most of the time and just kept a planner for all the daily, mundane stuff.

Eventually, I started writing short stories, tried to write poetry and then scripts and then dabbled writing in Filipino under the tutelage of Bryan Supan Siy who was the EIC of Malate Literary Folio then (his claim to fame are the Fita Best Friend and Fairy commercials). My writing froze up when Cirilo Bautista gave good reviews for a short story I wrote. My muse got scared coz he basically said the story was probably going to be my obra maestra. Bye-bye muse! LOL. After that I stopped writing for 8 years, for many, many reasons.

My muse slowly came back when I started a diary again. That was 4 years ago and I eventually started this blog - for work, to educate myself and push myself to eventually start writing stories again (some effort can be seen at Tales of the Moonless Sky). I guess that's how my writing has evolved. I've gotten offers to write a book, but I declined since I don't think I'm ready for it. Maybe someday.

Well, let's see where this blog would go, for the meantime, if you're a blogger (or would want to start blogging), here's something to do -



All you need to do is to make a post about the environment on October 15 - anything goes, you can write about your thoughts on the environment, organize a clean-up day, write a short story or whatever. Be creative! And don't forget to register your blog to be counted in the effort.

Oh! And it's Mama Mary's month! Don't forget to pray the rosary! And you may want to download a rosary podcast so you can listen and pray the rosary through your MP3 or MP4 player.

SEMCON 2007

Congratulations to Marc, Norelyn and Anton for a very successful first day at the 1st Search Engine Marketing Conference held at the Grand Ballroom of the Hotel Intercontinental. I thought it was a very exciting day since this is the first and biggest conference of this kind and a very appropriate follow-up after the 1st Internet and Mobile Marketing Summit held last August at the same venue.

Here are some photos:



Oh! And thanks to Benj for the pizza! Frosty lang sulit na sana, but pizza was fab!

And special thanks to Sweetie for surprising me with some Taco Bell. =)

48 Hours in Singapore

Uhuh, that's exactly what I did this weekend - well I have about 4 more hours left of that 48 hours (so why am I blogging!?!?)... my best friends have been scolding me about my trips since I haven't really gotten over my jetlag from last week's trip. Well, uh, I didn't realize the trip was too close from the last one and it was scheduled last August pa.

Anyway, I didn't do much actually. I slept most of the time since I haven't really been sleeping that well lately - just 4 hour pockets the past 3 weeks. I arrived in Singapore at midnight last Friday via Cebu Pacific Air (got my ticket for just PhP8K!) and my friend, Jaja, and her housemates fetched me at the airport. Here are some photos from my first 24 hours:



Actually, the real reason why I went to Singapore was for Javier's baptism. Welcome to the Christian world Javier! Hope to see you soon!

Friendship

Things will not be always peaceful everytime. We all go through a lot of ups and downs. As my friend, Honey and I realized - life's like a wheel, it's a cycle of being on top one day then it slowly drops to the bottom, then goes back up again, the back down. We usually kid each other every once in a while, "So are you up or down right now?"

Well, that's how life is and that's how you learn. And you learn as well from friends, specifically from the other side of friendship - the one that hurts you and there are times (lots) when because of that incident, the friendship does not survive. I guess here are just some of the "incidents" that one goes through with friendship.

1. The friend who betrays you.
2. The one who spills your secrets.
3. The friend that uses you.
4. The one who steals from you.
5. The friend who becomes an obstacle to the one you love.
6. The one who abandons you when you need him/her the most.
7. The friend who strings you along.

I'm not emo-ing or anything, I thought I'd just look back a bit and appreciate better my friends who are still around - I have friends who I've known since second grade! As you age, you realize that it's better to keep your friends who've been around the longest and one tends to become choosy on new friends. Basta it's just hard to trust na diba?

To my dear friends, you know who you are, hugs and kitakits!

Home

I don't think I have that much relatives, not as much as my high school classmate has (she had this thick book that had her family tree listed in it and used it to know if you were her long-lost cousin). I think we're relatively a small clan. Look up my last name in the directory and you'll just see less than a handful of listings with my last name. (Note: they are all my relatives!). I was also spotted by a long-lost relative in the US through Friendster and we're still verifying if we are indeed long-lost cousins or something. (Strange though that when you query for my last name in Google my blog doesn't show up! Hmmm...).

I remember growing up in a household with a lot of extended family. I didn't just have my Ate and my Kuya, I had a slew of Titos and Titas living with us and my cousin Tina was only returned to her parents when she was a baby when I was born. My Ate's husband said in the past relatives would actually exchange babies. He said one of his Dad's brothers wanted to raise him. My only reaction was, "But babies aren't puppies to be passed on around!" Anyway, thank God I was never lent or borrowed.

Our house seems a bit empty now. Well, normally for 11 months in a year, but during Christmas we're more than fully booked. You'd actually see the floor lined up with my nephews and nieces. I remember one Christmas when both my Ate and Kuya's family stayed here, our house felt like a kindergarden. Children running around. The older set rushing about. Breakfast-lunch and dinner was always like a party.

I cannot imagine how my Mom and Dad managed to build our house. My Mom said they loaned it when she was still working for PNB. It took them 15 years to pay and full payment coincided on their 25th wedding anniversary. If you ask me, I wouldn't know where to start, much less know where Mortgage Loan Processing begins. And, I definitely do not want a big house. Just imagining all the cleaning I'd have to do gives me the hives (kidding).

I've never lived anywhere else. Give or take a few weeks in Bicol, a few weeks in exile at my favorite Tito's home, living in hotels the past couple of years... I have no idea if I'll ever move, live anywhere, be uprooted or whatever. Or I might be one of those people who'd live in the same place forever, but at least I could say I don't live a boring life. If I stay in the same home forever, well then that means I'd really be our parish' historian. LOL. I wouldn't mind.

I am curious though how it feels to move. The most I've done is move from the upper level of our house to the basement and that took me a month. Care to tell your story?

*Photo - that's not our house though... that photo was taken somewhere Bali last Christmas. Can you spot my twin niece?

I'd Rather Be Green Than Be Blue

Para sa mga umapi sa akin the past few days before the game...
And I really didn't annoy the BOB boys in Bohol when we won...



Pero sige na, okay lang... si Sweetie Atenista eh. Bawi na ang pang-aapi. But! We still won! Nyahahahahahaha... I'll go annoy my Dad then. Hihi.

For DLSU alumni... don't forget to check out the De La Salle Philippines site and help out in getting funding for our scholars!

Animo La Salle!

When Control Spells Trouble and Who Not to Date

I know this would end up to be a very revealing post and I actually thought about it for a couple of weeks before writing. This is for some people who are very close to my heart and I'm writing this for them in the hopes that they will not go down the same path I did... in my previous life.

Sometimes in our quest to find our "one true love" we end up compromising a lot of things, even our principles. We may think it is love, but I'd say it's stupidity. What do I mean?

I had a former boyfriend who was overly controlling. There were times he would call the guard in our office just to ask what time I left and who I went down the elevator with. He would then "time" how long before I got home and chastise me even if I was a few minutes late. He would control what I ate, what I wore, who I spoke with. He'd read all the messages in my phone. He wouldn't allow me to attend office functions in the evening. He would not allow me to watch movies with my friends. He would not allow me to sing in the choir. He'd go into rages and would accuse me of seeing other guys. He became jealous and very possessive. Get the picture? It is I believe a form of abuse.

He sucked my life out of me. Well, almost. I was really feisty back then. I'd fight back, but I'd always lose because I was very afraid of losing him. I lost my sunshine. I changed. I even lost my muse for writing. I compromised what I knew was right. I compromised what I wanted. I compromised my principles. I was unhappy, but I just couldn't bear not having him.

I realized though that my true self was telling me something when I wouldn't do anything to fix our wedding. The date was moved thrice already. I always told him I was busy (I was going up the ladder in my career then). I was fixing our papers for migrating (he wanted to, I didn't), but it was all such a hassle to me and I was getting red tape from one task to another. I knew then that God was telling me something. So I prayed and prayed hard for clarification. And He answered, one prayer after another. Walang mintis.

I don't know how I survived. I was reedly thin then (I'm really fat now!). I did really well at work. My depression was like a light switch. I could turn it off and on (that's good control LOL). At work, I'd be so bright and cheerful like nothing was wrong. It was a month after before I managed to tell my family that I already broke off our engagement. My parents were very worried, but my Kuya told them not to worry because he knew that whatever it was I was going through, I would go back to my roots, to who I really am. And, I did, I pulled through. It may have taken a long time for me to heal, but my friends, family and my faith got me over it.

And since the, I told myself. I WILL NOT COMPROMISE. I will not settle for anything less. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life rather than be stuck with somebody who will just eventually make me unhappy.

And no, I did not meet the perfect guy right after that relationship. Brother Bo said you have to meet a lot of guys. The worst thing you'll have is a new guy friend. Right? And believe me there are a lot of guys who are not ready to be in a relationship, they are just playing or rather... they are still being honed to be men. I know, I've been quite upset it for the longest time (years) and I always asked Papa God how come they don't make guys like my Dad anymore? I think they're a dying breed.

So, my dear girl friends, control is just one of the many things that you should be very wary about... be scared, be very scared when:

1. A guy seems to say all the right things and seems so sure of himself and what he wants. He just wants you and is most probably just after your body. Bolero yan promise.

2. A guy seems to turn off his ear when you are sharing a problem. Remember, the most basic component of any relationship is friendship. If he doesn't want to hear about your day or is not even compassionate about you having a cough or a fever, even as a friend, naku iha he's not worth it.

3. A guy that forces you into schedules. Tsk tsk tsk. You are not a task list item. He's probably forcing you to fit in his schedule because he has others in his schedule. Multi-tasker ito!

4. A guy who tells you not to contact him. Ano ka kabit? If you cannot freely contact him anytime, wake up! That spells a lot of trouble. And forcing you just to talk with him through IM (this is true for LDRs), naku, kuripot na obvious pang may tinatago. My guy friends in the US call me often, and those are just friends ha.

5. A guy friend with whom you might have something going tells you, "Don't get too close to me, I might fall for you." And then goes and gets angry with you when you stop being malambing to him. Girl, that guy definitely has a lot of issues, if he can't face the fact that he likes you even though all your friends say so, it just means he is not that into you. Stay away.

6. A guy who has a girlfriend and still courts you. Even if he says, "Give me a chance, I'll leave her for you." Remember, he can do that to you as well. How can you trust a person who's like that? Asa pa siya.

7. A guy who is reportedly a womanizer. One that your friends have warned you about. You might be just one of his trophies. He probably has a lot of issues and in the end even though he tells you he loves you, he'd be so screwed up already because of his past.

8. A guy who doesn't treat his mother or sister right. That's how he'll treat you as well.

9. A guy who gets mad at the smallest of things and accuses you of stuff you did not do. It's his ghosts haunting him. Plus a guy who lies a lot and makes you lie for him. Goodness, let's not even delve into that.

10. A guy who kisses and tells. You'd know coz you'd be one of the ones he tells to. Tsk tsk tsk.

I asked a lot of my married friends how they came to the conclusion that they were marrying that person and all of them said one thing, "You just know." Armed with that "truth" , I did not allow myself to become bitter over all the stuff I've gone through. I told my best friend (now upgraded hehehe... and I'd say... I just know, I've known from the start silly... did I really have to go 10,000 miles away? LOL) that if my last relationship did not work out, then I'd just treat is as an adventure. It did not work out.

I wrote this piece for a couple of people who are close to my heart. It breaks my heart to see them in a situation where I was years ago. It was horrendous and I really do not know how I survived it, but I could safely say that I've put a closure to all the stuff from my past already and I am looking forward to a very bright future. There is hope girl. Pray.

I wasted 7 years of my life on one guy, don't do the same stupid thing I did.

What about you? What's the most stupid thing you've done for a guy? Who do you think you should NOT date?