Parenthood

I became a parent at the young age of 18. I think I've always known that I was going to be one at a young age and for a reason that I only understood more than a decade later. I can never imagine how my life would be without Miguel at my side.

I cannot say that I easily slipped into the role of parent. I had lots (loads, many-many) help from my family, especially my parents. I was lucky though since Miguel has always been a good child. He's not sickly, he's obedient and has so far shown no interest in having a barkada. AND he still enjoys my company (I do certainly hope so). He has his own interests so I let him be. I do intrude sometimes when I think he's forgetting about his other interests.

On the other hand though I can honestly say that it took me awhile to balance my work and life priorities. Being a single parent I had to work doubly hard and I can say that taking my MBA at an early age paid off. Eventually I looked for a company that was mommy-friendly. With much hard work and prayers I managed to work for one. Social life? It was only in my late 20s that I managed to have one haha. Becoming a single parent also helped me know who were my real friends were.

I only slipped in the full time "Mom" role when we finally moved out of my parents' house. I had to learn really fast on how to be a full time Mom and wife. During our first month Miguel didn't want to move in with us since: (1) we didn't have all the stuff we needed yet, (2) I was still learning how to do the laundry and ironing  (3) he was probably scared he'd go hungry because of my cooking. Hahaha!

We have so far survived and when things settled a bit, Miguel's grandparents have had to demand for him to sleep-over so they can spend some time with him. I know that I have to change pace on my "mothering" now since Miguel's turning 16 soon and a high school senior, but it's still quite hard to push him out of the door (haha) so he could mingle more with kids his age (he enjoys hanging out with my friends more than kids his age).

Becoming a parent drastically changes your life and with it comes a lot of sacrifices and the fact that you don't live for yourself anymore. The joy though far outweighs the sacrifice. And, God willing, I definitely want to have more!

*Thank you Sweetie for being there now to share the joys and pains of being a parent. Big challenge huh =)

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My friend Sonnie sent me a message earlier about a free seminar they are hosting on, "Web Safety for Parents". It's free and will happen on July 10 and August 14, 2010. For more details and to sign up please check out their website.

President!

This is not a post about politics, so rest easy because I'm not about to stress you out :)

I just wanted to share that my son got elected President of his school's computer club. I'm the happiest Mom on earth.

It was such a pleasant surprise when he told me the news. I wondered why he was running down the stairs and calling out my name when he arrived from school. Kasi pala may magandang balita. And, my oh my, he's got a lot of plans for the club!

I cannot stop smiling because this is the first time that he has been elected to office. A week ago we thought that the club would be dissolved. I didn't want him to end up in a club that he's not really interested in since I want him to be happily productive. I'm just really happy that he is doing something he loves and I hope he enjoys everything that goes with it.

Mana sa akin!

My Mom, My Strength

Me with my Mom, circa 19-secret!!!

The other I was discussing profusely parenthood with a friend. Well, he started it and it felt quite weird coz I never really had that kind of discussion on parenthood ever in my life.

These were the things he asked me:

Do parents shape the full personality of a child?
If the child grows up to be a delinquent member of society should we blame the parents fully for it?
Would you bring up your children the same way your parents did?

The upbringing of a person depends a lot on one’s parents. Francis Kong in his book, “What Don’t You Grow Up Dad?” shared that "Our children simply reflect the kind of learning they pick up from their parents". An apple tree wouldn’t bear oranges would it?

But should we blame parents fully for the delinquencies of their children? Yes and no. I think parents factor in a lot on one’s personality, but they do not control your choices. God gave each one of us a mind and a soul and the freedom of choice. Our parents will not always be there when we do judgment calls. And we shouldn’t blame them for all the crimes/indiscretions in the world.

I am sure each and everyone of us rant about our parents. Remember the time when you were a teenager and you felt that your parents don’t understand you at all? Me against the world? Yeah, I went through that as well. My friend who I was talking with said he’d definitely not bring up his children the same way his parents raised him.

I said the same thing before. When I had Miguel I said I’d bring him up differently. But, ya know, there is no such thing as a parent manual and when you are a first time parent you can’t help but refer to how your parents raised you. But, of course, I’m “editing” along the way and I try to avoid doing the stuff I thought annoyed me a lot. It’s not easy being a parent, much less being Mom and Dad at the same time, but I think with lots of love and prayers I’ll manage to bring up Miguel with the right values and spirituality and strength.

My Mom, she never panics. You won’t even see her flinch over a wound, cry over a problem. Put her in a crisis situation and she’ll tell you how to solve it matter of factly. That strength is what I am thankful for because it’s an important survival tool and I will forever be grateful for that. I hope that I’ll be able to teach Miguel the same thing.

And to my friend, I'm no expert at parenting, I just try to be hip about it with a lot of TLC. I asked Miguel this afternoon when was the last time I scolded him and he couldn't even remember. I guess I'm just so lucky I have a really great, sweet kid. Check out what he gave me for Mother's Day below.

Miguel knows best.

And to my Mom... I love you Mom. Happy Mother’s Day.

Express your gratitude to your moms by sending them a special gift. Whoopsies! I forgot to buy a gift!