My Zipper

I'm part of a couple of patient groups. It's been very helpful for me to be with people who are going through the same thing as me. Much like your community for your interests or hobbies, patients come together also to help each other. 

Last weekend patients in one of the groups asked to share their "zippers". The zipper refers to the scar left from your open heart surgery. It's usually 8 inches long. Depending on your doctor it can leave a long red mark or a nice white line. 

I remember crying a few weeks after surgery. Sweetie was helping me dress and I saw the long red angry scar. Sweetie asked me why I was crying. I told him I felt ugly. He immediately reassured me and told me I'd be beautiful no matter what. I didn't think much about the scar after that and it eventually healed. 

My doctor said not to put anything on the scar. Good thing I followed my doctor's advise because from fiery red, it turned to pink and then white. In the beginning I used to cover it up, but I realized I should wear my scar with pride. I survived an ordeal because of my strong will and faith. 

I have other smaller scars because I had to go through another OHS to drain fluid from my heart. Everytime my surgeon checks me he proudly says his work is beautiful haha. It took him twice the time to work on me (I remember waking up in the middle of the operation!). Patients who need mitral valve repair today are lucky because there's a non-invasive way of doing it already. The recovery time would also be faster for them. 

When I look at myself today I see all the scars, even the tiny ones from butterfly needles, dextrose needles and when they poke me for tests etc. I just look at them now as testaments to my love and faith. I am grateful everyday that God has been me my life. 

Day 23 Minimalism Challenge, Empty your junk drawer. I learned from a friend that it's useful to have a box where you can put stuff that you don't have time to put away yet. I put mine in a tote bag. I have a bad habit though of just leaving it in the bag haha. From where I'm sitting now I could see I have four bags I need to go through. I'll do that today! 

CB///*Yr2/134 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/157 #NewG312 #Home70 #StayHome #BeKind

My Heart Went Whoopsies

The past ten days have been very challenging for me health-wise. My doctors have been hesitant to give a diagnosis just yet until they understand the full picture. 

I oftentimes ask myself why did God give me a very unusual body. I was always different even when I was a child. And then eventually my congenital heart issues progressed and I had to under go mitral valve repair. My doctors discovered during my surgery that the structure of my veins were very different. I had many nurses who came in to look at me because they said it was uncommon to meet someone like me. 

At my fave doctor's office. I was on the same spot, also sitting on a wheelchair almost 8 years ago. 

He's been my doctor for 17 years now.

My doctor said though that my issues have been there all my life and any procedures or medicines I take should be carefully scrutinized. I do get frustrated because there's so much I want to do. I believe though that you are given the cross you can bear so I try my best to cope and serve the mission assigned to me. 

On the bright side, I am very grateful to have a team of doctors who really care for me. Yesterday my respiratory doctor was really concerned about my condition and insisted I immediately see my cardiologist. I ended up spending the rest of the afternoon in my cardiologist's office for tests. One thing I like about my doctors is they recognize that I'm an unusual case and they need to give me customized care. 

So that's what I've been going through the past ten days. I'm just resting at home, sleeping when I feel like sleeping. I should probably see my other doctor next week. I missed seeing him today because I had to wait for the results of my test. In the meantime, I pray, try to live healthier and rest for now. 

Pray for me okay?

#CB//213 #StuckAtHomeDay/243 #WFH144 #StayHome #BeKind

Acceptance

Acceptance can mean a lot of things. It can mean it's suitable, adequate, tolerance, and perhaps to some it may mean defeat. I started thinking about this word when I read about a friend experiencing some health problems and he's been having a hard time about it.

Back in 2008 I contracted pneumonia which resulted in heart failure. I was constantly coughing for about a year because the water in my lungs just wouldn't go away. When it did my immune system had deteriorated a lot and all my allergies were activated. I couldn't eat chicken, chocolate, couldn't drink Coke and cockroaches (even their smell) made me feel like I was dying. There's no cure for heart failure but there are ways to help ones allergies. So I saw an allergologist, Dr. Canlas of Makati Med. Being the best allergologist in town the line was long and I waited for about 3 hours before I could see him. I thought I was going to pass out while waiting for him, good thing Sweetie was there for me and told me I would get better after I see the doctor.

So after getting pricked 40 times to test for allergies the doctor rattled off the stuff that would trigger my allergies. He said though that the first step to getting better was accepting the fact that I have allergies and that I would need to adjust how I live. I was feeling sorry for myself then because I was so weak, I could barely eat and I couldn't do anything anymore. I thought then that I was probably dying a very slow death.

That was the first and the last time I saw Dr. Canlas, but the advise he gave me on that day made a huge impact on how I live today. Acceptance doesn't mean defeat. It means that you can face challenges in a mature manner. It means being flexible and adjusting to what you have. I know I have a lot of limitations because of my heart, but it doesn't mean I cannot do anything anymore. It also means I just really need to be smart about the choices I make so I can still do what I want and like doing.

My 2 Year Old Heart

It's #ThrowbackThursday today and I just finished my semi-annual check-up with my favorite doctor, Dr. Koo. This was me 2 years ago --

Me just before I was wheeled into the operating room.

Taken a few weeks after the second surgery. I had this photo taken because I could raise my arms again. I tried on this blouse the other day... I almost couldn't get it off anymore hahaha.

And this is big healthy (a.k.a. fat) me today --

See I couldn't even close my coat anymore!

8 years in between! I've over-achieved my Google 15. Gained it twice.

For those I've just met recently I had mitral valve surgery back in January 2013. The initial surgery was fairly successful, but I had complications after so they had to drain water from my heart. Instead of spending just 5 days in the hospital I spent a total of 30 days. I recovered really slowly and I don't think I'll be the same again. I feel much better now though and my quality of life has vastly improved and well let's not talk about how much weight I've gained in the last two years!

I got a little scolding from my doctor for miss my second check-up last year. My nose is very sensitive so during the haze season in Singapore I really have a difficult time staying (and well I was trying to lose some weight... it didn't happen!). The findings were positive, I just need to watch what I eat and lose some weight (that's the trending topic for this post!).

Ahh, but let's see what I've achieved in the last year:

- Traveled 116,562.5 kilometers, a lot were domestic travels but I managed to go to London and Cambodia for the first time and visit the US and Japan again after a long time
- Biggest adventure of the year: hiking through 7 falls in Mambukal in Negros Occidental. I couldn't walk for a week after!
- Slept on my bed more this year! Just 69 days in hotels.
- And a special Christmas gift, my first grand nephew arrived via Jet!

This is me barreling down the mountain. I could barely walk by this time.

It was a very busy year at work, but looking at my photos I'm happy to see based on my photos that we managed to slip in a few getaways. Boracay in March, Palawan in August and thanks to zero fare promos, Japan for New Year! I also met a lot of awesome and very passionate people in the last year, it's really overwhelming since I want to get to know each one of them better (that's really hard to do when you are an introvert though).

As I told my friend Rose, "I'm a walking miracle." My sun almost set two years ago, but with faith and really good doctors I pulled through, probably because my mission here isn't complete yet.

Thank you so much to my family, my friends, colleagues and everyone who's been watching out for me. All of you are my angels here on earth =)

Happy second birthday my repaired mitral valve!