What Makes You Happy?

What makes you happy? It's probably a question all of us ask ourselves every so often. Keep it simple my doctor told me. 

Whenever I feel down, one thing that helps me get back up is counting blessings or things I'm grateful for. This is what taught me to be happy even with simple things.

When I wake up every morning, I thank the Lord for the new day, then I look forward to seeing my boys, our cats and then my plants. 

I've changed a lot since I retired. I used to beat myself up for not being "productive". I kept praying for the next "big thing". My condition just got worse and I realized God is telling me I'm on a different path now. I'm meant to be where I am now.

What makes you happy can change over time. I used to chase wins across the region and now I'm chasing what's within a few meters around me. And it's enough.

#BeKind #StaySafe

That Time I Gave Up

A friend pinged me the other day and told me about his complicated love life. I told him I used to be in that boat too. I kept stumbling and my heart experienced too many heartbreaks already. I let myself heal after a long relationship and then I started to date again. 

I thought I was better off because I knew what red flags to watch out for. I was wrong because I learned about more red flags I should avoid. I eventually gave myself a deadline. I told God that by the end of the third quarter of 2007, if I hadn't found the one I would accept that I was meant for single blessedness. I was so set to focus on Miggy, my career and possibly do my doctorate. 

I planned it that way so I could keep sane and so I could stop hoping. Early in 2007, I read the book of Bo Sanchez, "How to Find Your One True Love". He said you should focus on making more friends and don't just fall in love with anyone who shows interest. Just pray. So I did that and along the way I learned more red flags. 

In the last few days of September 2007, I experienced another disappointment. I had a friend who was showing a lot of interest. It did not work out. He was another huge red flag. I felt more frustrated than disappointed actually and on the plane ride home I told God I was read for a life of single blessedness. I told him, "Lord, it's September 28 and my deadline is 48 hours away. I know I've made a lot of mistakes and this is probably because I'm too willful. I give up. Please take over and navigate my life." 

I got home and was so jetlagged, I ended up chatting with Sweetie after midnight. It was the 29th. At that time we were best friends. I told him about what happened during my trip. Then he said he wanted to tell me something. It took an hour or two before he finally confessed that he wanted to court me. 

And that's how God wrote our love story. My friend told me He probably heard me loud and clear because I was literally up in the air when I made a desperate plea. Have faith, there are things that you should leave up to Him.

Happy Sunday everyone!

#BeKind #StaySafe

Wellness Wednesdays: Old Photos

Anchoring on happy moments is one good way to solidify your coping mechanism. On my Mom's 40th day and house blessing our parish priest shared a problem they've been encountering a lot. He said there are a lot of young ones (the youth) who are troubled. They encountered a number of them who tried to take their life. 

Kuya gave an overview on how to use NLP*. He demonstrated a technique where he processed the negative action/thought with a positive event. Happy thoughts certainly help overcome negative experiences. Our mind sometimes tricks us to dwell on the negative and it tends to immobilize us. It has happened to me and still happens every so often. 

The grandkids with their Papa Lolo. This was taken during one of our trips to Bali.
Our flight was delayed so Dad regaled the kids with war time stories. 

Old photos that elicit happy memories is one of my coping mechanisms. That's the reason why I file my photos properly. I have a ton of albums in my Google Photos and I can easily access it on any device. Every so often Google Photos highlights a happy memory. That's why it's been easy to do throwback Thursday posts.

Daddy covering his ear on New Year's Eve.

Sometimes I share the photos to loved ones to remind them of those happy memories. My titas also do this whenever they unearth something from their baul. My Tita Chu just sent me a photo of me and her daughter when we were just kids. It was my first time to see that photo and it immediately brought back that time when they visited from Australia.  

So the next time you're feeling blue, pull up some old photos. Better yet, frame them around your home so you can easily get a happy boost whenever you need it :)

#BeKind #StaySafe

10 Seconds for Those Who Helped You Along the Way

It's always a beautiful day everyday for Mr. Rogers. I was four years old when I first encountered Mr. Rogers. We were visiting Titay in Chicago and every morning I'd watch Mister Rogers Neighborhood. Mr. Rogers had a beautiful soul. I wish we had someone like him in this day and age. 

Just a happy photo with my boys. This was in Melbourne a few years ago.

I chanced upon Mr. Rogers inspirational speech and thought it would be nice to share it today. He asked the audience to think about all the people who helped them get to where they are and say a silent thank you. It was a powerful 10 seconds for the people in the theater. People got emotional as they thought about the people who helped them. 

When was the last time you thought about the people who helped you become who you are today? It took me more than 10 seconds to reflect on all those who helped me along the way. My heart was immediately filled with gratefulness. It was a warm feeling that ran throughout my body. 

Try this as advised by Mr. Rogers. It will definitely brighten up your day :)

Day 17 Minimalism Challenge, Don't complain all day. Oh wow this is a hard challenge! Haha. I always complain when I feel something wonky in my body. I'll focus my mind then on being grateful today. Happy Monday everyone!

CB///*Yr2/128 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/151 #NewG318 #Home76 #StayHome #BeKind

Donut Fail - #SpreadTheHappiness

There's a #spreadthehappiness thing going on in FB the past couple of days. Friends have been posting this request -

Joining the bandwagon donut flop please. If you’re reading this, even if we barely talk, please tell me a memory you have of me that makes you smile inside. Afterward, you can make this your status. You’ll be surprised by the memories people hold of you. Life is hard especially during times like this. So #spreadthehappiness

I've been answering some I come across because I know happy memories help a lot during this time. We've been confined at home so there's been no opportunity to make new memories. I did a similar happiness project last year. Friends started to share photos with their memories. I thought it would be a great idea to create a photobook out of it. 

Whenever I feel blue I just open the photobook and go through the happy memories my friends shared to me. It always gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling :)

CB///Yr2/19  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/46 #StayHome #BeKind  

Finding Joy

Sweetie's back at work which means I'm left by myself during the day. I actually enjoy being alone. It gives me time to recharge and do things I like. My siblings were already teenagers when I was born so my Mom taught me how to keep busy. That's how I got into crafting. 

Joy because I rode a new car! It smelled so good and uncle was really nice too.

It took me awhile to transition from my busy work lifestyle to my now slowed down lifestyle. The transition was terrible since I'm used to multitasking multitasks. It took time for me to accept the fact that my tank was empty and it's going to take a long time to fill up again. 

Honestly it's been only two weeks since I accepted that I need a long break. I'm at peace with it now. I woke up full of gratitude today. I kept waking up last night, but I still woke up happy. I think it's because I now easily find joy in the littlest of things. 

I'm happy because I had a great PT session yesterday. It makes me deliriously happy when my physiotherapist says we did a lot and I did well. I'm happy because someone pointed out to me that it's great I'm able to help back home in my own little way. I'm happy because I'm almost done with my food processor quilt cover project. I'm happy because Sweetie's lemon ginger tea cured my achy pointy finger. I'm happy because Miggy's been able to expand his cooking prowess. And so much more. 

I know it's very hard to find joy at this time. There's so much going on in the world. Headlines make me mad and exasperated. I watched Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD and Bo Sanchez' conversation today and Fr. Jerry shared how he overcame cancer. He said, "Don't focus on the tumor, focus on the humor." He explained that God is bigger than anything, even this virus. Just focus on Jesus and we will overcome all of this. 

Don't worry my friend, we'll all be alright. 

CB///Yr2/10  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/37 #StayHome #BeKind  

The Millennial Mindset

I have a whole bunch of nephews and nieces who are in their 20s and early 30s. All of them were born between 1987 to 1996 and they fall under generation Y. The millennial generation. Well, Miguel falls under this generation too. 

They're all grown-up now. 

I know there's been a lot of grumbling about the millennial generation. They do things very differently. One thing I noticed is their ability to simply do what they want. One example I can think of is choosing your college degree. In my generation what you take up in university is largely influenced by your parents. Shifting courses or even schools wasn't the norm. 

I tried the GenX way with Miguel. It didn't work. He shifted courses and schools several times before he finished his studies. The same happened with my nephews and nieces. After graduation most of them did not want to have a full-time job (with exception to the doctor and teachers in the fam). The idea drove me crazy. 

I couldn't fathom the idea of hopping from one gig to another to earn a living. Growing up I learned to follow the normal process of graduating and finding a good job to sustain your needs. Take vacations and breaks when you have time. My millennial fam though, they work and do everything they like doing while earning a living. And I could see they're happier. 

As I journey to fulfill my quest to financial freedom, I realized that the millennial mindset of enjoying life while earning makes a lot of sense. It honestly took me two years to understand this. One of my nieces actually became a millionaire in her mid-20s. In my mid-20s I didn't even have any savings. 

So that's how I finally understood a bit about how my millennial family does things. I've been warning my friends who have younger kids to expect that they'd be doing things very differently. As a GenX parent to a millennial, ahhh it will really drive you crazy haha. 

CB///363  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/26 #StayHome #BeKind   

The Language of Happiness

As I slug through recovering each day has been a revelation for me. Aside from recovering physically I know my soul also needs healing. I understand now I cannot rush through this because it is an issue that I've been ignoring for many years now. I've run out of brownie points and the only way to move on is to address the issue point by point. 

Last night before I went to sleep I came across an IG post by a vlogger, Kulas of Becoming Filipino. He said that he's traveled across the Philippines with little knowledge of local dialects, but he's been able to connect to locals because of the way he communicates through happiness and positivity. It resonated so well with me because it reminded me of why I do things.

I started this blog 15 years ago because I wanted to inspire and spread positivity. This is the core of why I do things. This is the part of me that comes from my Dad. Inspire others by sharing happiness and the joy of helping others. I gave it my all and forgot to leave something for myself. As Bo Sanchez said, "You cannot give what you don't have." And right now my well is empty. 

I have been hibernating because of that. I've been going online sparingly to follow doctors orders (to avoid stress). I didn't realize it back then, but I think it's been the best thing for me for now. In time, with God's grace, I would heal and will be back. 

CB///306 #StuckAtHomeDay/336 #StayHome #BeKind

Elixir to Happiness

I found something that's a better way to be joyful on demand. I think it's an elixir to happiness. 

Giving. 

I was finally able to process today my donation for the relief efforts for Bicol. I chose to send it to Bicol because it is the hometown of my parents. I waited awhile because I wanted to check first if anyone from my family needed help. I'm so thankful everyone in my family is okay. 

I also realized what stresses me out. Saying no. I know that I have to prioritize projects and I have to say no to some things. It's hard for me whenever I have to turn down something. I know I should not feel guilty, but I do and it causes me a lot of stress. I just look at it now as a learning experience for the person who's trying to pass me work that they can do themselves. Then I just help by teaching them what to do. 

Giving is an amazing feeling. It's a much better feeling than feeling grateful. If feeling grateful doesn't give you a boost, give! 

A lot more people need help, if you can, please send help through any of the following:

Help efforts for Bicol relief through the Jesuits -

DEPOSIT DETAILS: Kindly send an email to rnrivera@ateneo.edu with a scan or photo of the deposit slip transaction for proper acknowledgment. God bless you for your generosity!
Account Name: Ateneo de Naga University
Bank: BPI, Naga Caceres Branch
Peso Savings: 8863-0478-04, Dollar Savings 8864-0093-02
Swift Code BOPIPHMM
BDO, Elias Angeles Branch
Peso Savings: 5970-114724, Dollar Savings: 5970-110745 Swift Code BNORPHMM
Overseas donors can send through this link. Please check "Ateneo de Naga University" as the donee institution and state for Typhoon Rolly (Goni) efforts" in the comments section.

My friend Ros in collaboration with #RockEdRelief has been organizing to send relief to Cagayan. you can find more information here. 

#CB//222 #StuckAtHomeDay/252 #WFH148 #StayHome #BeKind 

Do you have a Battle Song?

Two years ago I was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism. I had a huge blood clot in my right lung and was the reason why I could barely breathe (full story here). I was shocked and I asked myself what did I do to deserve going through another illness that has a high mortality rate. I spiralled down into a black hole. Honestly, I just wanted Papa God to take me then. 

But I lived. And I think Papa God chose to let me live so I could share my stories.

Other pulmonary embolism patients usually get hospitalized until they stabilize. I didn't take a break and still went to work and my treatment was done through medications. A few days after I got diagnosed Sweetie pinged me and said he got free tickets for us to watch The Piano Guys. I wasn't really up to it, but I decided to go since they are one of my favorite musicians. 

The Piano Guys were amazing! I was so touched by their music especially when they played this song --

It's Gonna Be Okay

By end of the evening I felt the burden I was carrying lift. I truly felt everything was going to be okay. I was feeling tired today so I casted the song to the TV and immediately felt better. The song has that effect on me. 

What about you? Do you have a battle song? A song that immediately perks you up when you're feeling down? 

CB//197 #StuckAtHomeDay/227 #WFH134 #StayHome #BeKind 

Fill up Your Happy Thoughts Bucket

Times are tough and the other day I almost ran out of happy thoughts. Before I went online I posted this on my stream -

Then I went offline and made myself busy with other things. When I went back online I was surprised to get so many comments from family and friends -

I smiled. I giggled. I laughed. I began reminiscing happy times. I am grateful to all the friends who dropped a comment. My happy thoughts tank overflowed. My friend Denz said all I needed to do was look back at my photos to remember all the happy memories I have (he knows I have a gazillion photos). And I realized that this post I made is going to pull me out of any rut I get into. My plan now is to create "My Happiness" album because I'm sure I have happy photos with everyone who commented. I'm so excited to start on this project!

Happy photo in Baguio with Iosif and Phil.

Photo by Vince Tabor

Happy Sunday everyone! Remember, Papa God loves you.

Why Counting Your Blessings Everyday is Important

Happy new year everyone! I don't have a new year's resolution nor a bucketlist for 2018. I'm not sure if I want to make one. I haven't really been good with lists since my life seems to go different directions every single year. It's usually not by choice but through the invisible hand of God. He always puts me where I should be. I'm not without challenges. I have a lot of them, but I usually pray for guidance when I'm stuck in a rut or want to run away from something.

Hubby told me the other day he had a friend who was stuck in a rut. He asked me what he should tell his friend. I took a few moments to think about what I did to recover from break-ups and being stuck (I oftentimes over-worry and overthink things). I took myself to the time when I was recovering from a very bad break-up. I read multiple self-help books and kept praying. I was really down back then and kept to myself usually.

Aside from praying the one thing that helped me go back to being happy was counting blessings. I picked it up from one of Bo Sanchez' books. At first it was difficult to even think of one blessing I received in a day. Bo pointed out that one should start with very simple blessings, like waking up to a new day. Hearing birds chirping. Seeing a nice colored leaf. Drinking a glass of soda. Any mundane thing can be a blessing. My list grew from one to two then three, five, ten to thirty etc. I was feeling a lot better already when I was able to reach ten blessings per day. I just made it really simple for me to recognize that everything is a blessing.

I do still get myself in a rut. Usually happens when I'm very stressed and when something doesn't go as planned. Sometimes it takes days/weeks for me to go back to my usual self, but when I start counting my blessings I'm usually back to my normal self in no time.

Try it :) It'll do wonders to your mood :)

What Makes a Good Life?

It's really impressive that Harvard has been running a 75-year old study on happiness and satisfaction. The fourth director of this study, Robert Waldinger, recently did a TED talk on adult happiness. I suggest you spend 12 minutes to watch this video -

My parents got it spot on.

Growing up my parents insisted that we all be home before sunset. As a rebellious teenager I always broke this rule (well my class normally ended at 6 in the evening). My parents only went out for very special occasions and preferred to hang out with friends/relatives at home. It was also preferable that my friends would come and visit us at home so they could meet them (and validate they weren't bad influences hehe).

Looking back I now realize that my parents knew what was essential -- relationships. They lived very simply and focused on family, relatives and a close set of friends. We normally ate at home and eating out was a big treat. Shopping was an affair that was pre-planned and we only went shopping when needed. And the preference was to stay at home.

My Kuya during my Mom's 80th birthday celebration shared that our parents really lived up to be a true Christian. Our home was home to whoever needed a home. We always had extended family who lived with us and my parents always extended a helping hand to those who needed it. I remember my Dad worked on a project that freed prisoners who were innocent but jailed. And he gave free legal advise for those who needed it. My Mom mentioned that early on in their marriage farmers would come to their home bearing live chickens as a thank you for my Dad's legal advise.

And what Mr. Waldinger shared is so true. Happiness and satisfaction isn't about being rich or famous. It's about being in good relationships. And that's why my prayer for this year is to have my family together in one country (so I'm not so sickly!). 

Crown de Mercedes

Simple way to enjoy life... just eat out with awesome friends.

Watch. Be Happy. And Weep.

Why is it we are moved to tears when we are happy?

Watch. Be happy. And weep.



Tears welled up in my eyes half-way through the video, which was a bummer since I was at work when I took a break to watch this video which has gone viral on G+, Twitter and Plurk. I hurriedly wiped away my tears when they started to trickle down and I had to pause the video so I could compose myself (my seatmate would've probably asked why I was crying!).

Anyway, I guess the video moved me to tears because I am now an OFW too. It's really hard to be far away from your family and all you can do is hope and pray everyday that everything is doing well back at home. I'm still lucky though coz I think I can manage to go home monthly (crossing my fingers) so I could be with my family. I could not help but cry for the others working abroad who could not visit their family as often.

Dear Coca-Cola, you made me cry with this video!

Kitkat Mint

I haven't blogged for eleven days now. I've just been extremely busy and been thinking about a lot of stuff (and my writing muse was scared out of her wits). Well... a friend managed to shift the cycle today and I thought I'd break my keyboard's silence with a Kitkat...

Well, not just any kind of Kitkat, but Kitkat Mint!

Yum! I first encountered Kitkat Mint in Singapore last January. I bought one pack and stuffed it in my luggage. When I got home I just put it in a basket of goodies and completely forgot about it. A visitor took the liberty of opening the pack and before I knew it he was halfway through the pack! Good thing I noticed and saved some for myself and my boys. And I regretted buying just one pack.

I was sharing this story with a friend who works from Nestle and he said they actually have Kitkat Mint available locally -- it just gets sold out really fast!

Thanks Ricky, now I don't need to wait another week to get one (but I'm still going to buy in SG for safety haha) =)

Dear supermarkets, please, please have more Kitkat Mint in your shelves. It will also make my Mom happy.