So my year started on a really sad note. My Dad's gone and there's a huge hole in my heart that's empty right now because he filled it with so much love. I'm sure it's going to take awhile before the pain ebbs away or perhaps it never will, but I'm sure my Dad doesn't want me to sulk for long. In fact I managed to force myself to go back to work after just a week because there were some people who needed help.
Anyway, my Dad has also left me a huge responsibility -- to make sure that his advocacies for the church and country would continue. I have to be strong and really act like a big girl now in order to fulfill his wish. It won't be easy, but I'm sure he did that to keep me in line and focused on what I have to do. I'm still trying to figure out though how to manage things and make it work.
My sister said in her eulogy that my Dad isn't totally gone, because he left the best of himself in each and everyone of us. And the only way to see him is to live out that legacy. It's going to be tough since my Dad achieved so much in his life. I felt really lost last week because I lost sight of my North Star. I realized over the weekend though that he's just up there beaming his light over me.
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I understand how it feels like living everyday without a father anymore, I don't have a father for 15 years but somehow I am grateful coz I become a better and responsible person after he left, I took the responsibilities of taking care of my family as eldest among my siblings. God has the greatest plan in my life, He took my dad and He let me realized how beautiful life is by taking care of my mom, my sister and my brother.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful that i still have my father with me. I know someday that he will also joining God in heaven. But for now i always make him feel that I am always here for him. and I know for sure that if the right time comes i will also feel sadness like you are feeling are now. You are still lucky because you have your mother, brother and sisters with you.
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