Monday, February 15, 2010

To Date or Not to Date Your Best Friend

There's a hot topic over at the Toblerone Pilipinas fan page - would you date your best friend?

My Mom told me when I was younger that I should marry my best friend. And I guess that was one of the reasons why it took me a long time to settle down. The right one had to be my best friend.

Dating one's best friend is something you should do with a lot of thought. I lost a best friend this way, but looking back I can surmise that it was probably the right love at the wrong time. We were still kids back then and I just didn't feel comfortable about having my future planned out before I turned 20. I realized the loss a decade later when I kept meeting bad guys. I just prayed then (to St. Jude!) that I meet the right one.

It took years but I never lost hope. I had a lot of guy friends, but the slot for "guy best friend" was empty for several years already. Eventually I met Sweetie and our friendship progressed naturally. He was actually the one who said that I was his best friend, so I thought that he'd make a great "guy best friend". I was very careful though about entertaining thoughts on dating him because of the "wedding dream". I prohibited myself from wishful thoughts and that kept me sane.

A couple of months later Sweetie asked permission if he could court me. It was around 2 in the morning during that time and I guess I wasn't very lucid (hahaha). I decided to skip the ligawan and get it on already. Why? Because I didn't want to go through the awkward stuff that goes with courtship.

I think though that several things contributed to the success of our relationship: (1) we were at the right age; (2) our friendship was already solid; and (3) our love was born out of friendship, not because it was a need or want. Take note though that dating your best friend doesn't mean it's going to be perfect. You still have to work things out.

To date or not to date your best friend? I say, take the risk. If he's really your best friend then if it doesn't work out your friendship would survive.