A decade and a half ago, my cardiologist said I have a 70-year old's heart. He said after surgery everything will improve. I had mitral valve repair 13 years ago and I enjoyed it until late 2018 when I had a pulmonary embolism. Things went downhill from there since my lungs were affected.
And now I'm (over)due for mitral valve replacement. The surgery has been postponed several times and now we have to do it in Singapore since my case is very complicated.
And I feel I now have an 80 year old's heart. All my activities have to be "calculated" and I cannot overdo things. When I miscalculate, I'm definitely unavailable and unstable the next day. I used to feel bad about it before, but now I just shrug my shoulders and rest as needed. Whatever I had planned, just gets delayed.
Sometimes it saddens me when I can't do anything especially when I can't be more supportive for my friends. That's the sad reality of having a dysfunctional body. I know not many people understand what it's like to have chronic conditions. On the outside, I look healthy. My insides are like a new car with an ancient engine.
Life.
#BeKind #StaySafe
