A Year Without Mom

A year ago, I woke up to the bad news that my Mom was gone. It was unexpected since she was actually healthier and stronger than me. I was very sickly back then and she'd tell me to just rest and not worry about her. I still did and would have Miggy call her to remind her to drink more water. 

Mom would have wanted to go that way. She always prayed to go while asleep. She said she didn't want to have a prolonged illness. She said she wanted to be independent and not bother us (her kids). She wanted us to live our own lives and not worry about her. Dad also used to say the same thing. They both let us fly as far as we could. 

The past year without Mom has been surreal. Incomplete. There was always something missing. Whenever we go someplace or order food, I'd always think what Mom would like. Any quilting project I work on, I'd always think what she'd think about it. Oftentimes, I'd ask myself, "WWMD?" (What would Mom do?). 

Going through her things has been therapeutic. It took me months before I could start working on it. I honestly haven't made a dent since she has a lot of stuff. I know what she left are things that are important to her. I smile whenever I find a childhood toy. I gave Kuya one of his squeaky toys last week and I told him Mom wanted him to have it. Imagine, that toy is probably 60 years old already, but Mom kept it. 

Tradition dictates that "babang luksa" happens after a year. We could now celebrate birthdays, attend parties, have weddings etc. Grieving for ones loved one never ends. I still cry whenever I remember losing my Dad and it will be the same with Mom. 

Love you Mom, forever. We'll be back home soon as you wished. Please intercede with Dad for us to finish all the paperwork! <3

*Babang luksa - lowering of mourning

Mom is 86!

"It's surprising I reached this age," Mom said after I greeted her a happy birthday. She peered at the candle on her birthday cake and told me she can't believe she outlived her siblings. She was a sickly child and had a heart condition. Our neighbors always tell me that they admire my Mom for being strong for her age. They still see her watering her plants every morning. 

One of the reasons I decided to come home is because of my Mom. All of us were abroad and it was the easiest for me to move back home. And today we got to celebrate her 86th birthday at our new home. We ate lunch together with my Kuya and his family via VC. It's really different when you're physically together. We were only able to send her flowers and food for almost two years. Now I can just go see her anytime, get hugs and bottomless kwento. 

Mom at 16.

My Mom is the strongest person I know in the whole wide universe. What powers her is her faith and garden. She always does something in her garden everyday. She waters it, prunes plants or gives instructions to a gardener to do heavy lift trimming. She never wants to part from it. Her garden loves her back because it's built on love. I've been trying out her daily workout of watering plants. I get so wiped out after, I normally have to rest after haha. Mom's lungs are probably stronger than mine. 

Whenever I feel down I think of my Mom and how she manages to pull through anything. I can't imagine how she was able to take care of all her siblings and Dad when they got sick. She also took care of me after my heart surgery (she was 78 at that time). All those years when she was sickly as a child and living through the war must have made her really resilient. 

So one of my goals is just to keep Mom happy. Sister Lirio told me to be good at taking care of her. I am drawing power from that and it's helping me improve everyday as well. Maybe in a week or two watering our pocket garden wouldn't be a heavy workout for me anymore, haha. 

As my Mom always tells me, "Life is just like that, it's a cycle. People would just come and go. Just live through it. " 

I love you Mom! I thank God everyday because you're my Mom. Happy birthday! 

#Home36 #NewG210 #Xmas18 #StayHome #BeKind   

My Marvelous Mom

I found an old photo of my Mom with my Papa Lolo's jeep. She said Tito Ben taught her to drive in secret. They would use Papa Lolo's jeep without his knowledge. Growing up with five other siblings they'd always do secret stuff like turning back the clock so they can stay out later. And they always stuck together when they got in trouble. 

I did exactly the same, mostly on my own since my siblings are much older than me. I think Mom was strictest with me. I always got an earful when I had a wound or when I got home late. Well, I still did what all kids do haha. Eventually it was Daddy who became stricter in my late twenties. They were both very protective of me.

I learned diskarte from my Mom. I got my program management skills from her. There's nothing she cannot solve. Her secret weapon has always been prayer. Whenever I go to her room I always see her either praying or sewing (or telebabad with her amigas). She's always calm, but oh boy, don't make her angry. To this day she always prays for us.

One thing I wish I got from my Mom is her spine of steel. In times of disaster she's always on top of things. I've never seen her panic. I can't imagine how she was able to take care of her siblings when they got sick one after another. And she was in her mid-70s when she took care of me after heart surgery. She's a rockstar. 

My beautiful Mom at 85 yo.

And through this pandemic she always reassures us that she's okay and just staying home. She's still up to her tricks because she told me earlier she went to our church last January! Good thing Kuya kept her drivers license. I'm sure she'd go out more if she had it. I'm also sure she stays more than 20 minutes when she tends to her garden. That's fine since it's an enclosed area. I just always hope and pray she'd be healthy and safe. 

Love you Mom forever <3

CB///Yr2/29  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/56 #StayHome #BeKind