In the last few years I have lost many loved ones. In my family my Dad and my second-Dads (my uncles) have gone to heaven (the women have proven to have longer lives in our clan). I have several friends who have also left.
Yesterday I was so happy to hear from a friend who is going through a very rough time with his health. I knew he was undergoing surgery and I was so worried all week since I have not heard from him for awhile. I've been praying so hard that he would be okay and I breathed a sigh of relief when he pinged me. My joy was short-lived though because he said there's been a recurrence in what he's going through.
After experiencing complications with my surgery (my cardio later on admitted that they were very, very worried), I honestly did not know what to say to my friend. There's a huge difference between undergoing surgery for repair vs. surgery for recovery. It got me thinking, how come I survived two life-threatening episodes? I almost gave up those two times, but I held on to the idea that my family needs me and I need to survive.
And then I remembered what my Dad kept telling us, "You are here for a purpose. When your mission is done, that's the time that you will be called home."
Prinum Regnum Dei.
Now I understand why my Dad requested to have that engraved on his tombstone. It means, "First the Kingdom of God" from Matthew 6:23 which ties up to what my Dad kept reminding us on about our purpose.
I must say the last 2 years following my surgery has been a test of faith. I buried myself in work, probably to prove that I could still do things and I am alive. I've moved teams recently and the last few weeks have given me time to breathe and reflect. I have had time to do things I like doing and spend time engaging with friends. It's reminded me to enjoy life as well and not just spend it working hard (hopefully at my purpose).
The reminder though does not ease the sadness I am feeling over my friend, but it has renewed my quest to fulfil my purpose.