I Will Make You Hungry with this Post

Warning: this is an epic post about food, gathered from years of travel and eating.

My doctor was very happy yesterday to see my progress. He said that he and my cardiologist were very worried about me, but seeing me walking and smiling again have relieved them. After doing a quick 2D echogram with his handy gadget he said that my lungs are clear and I just have 1 millimeter of water in my pericardium which should go away in time.

I've actually been feeling much better in the last week. I just stayed home for five days straight to rest and started venturing out for walks in the last 3 days. I think it's really helped regain some of my strength and I was really surprised that results from my spirometer exercises have increased to 1,250 ml (yay!). I can also raise my arms straight up now and wear a tshirt without wincing in pain (wearing though is a different ballgame from taking it off).

Anyway so since I've been stuck at home and been ordered to take my mind off work (and keep away!) I've just been watching TV, reading, blogging, updating my journal and dreaming about my favorite food.

My doctor said it'll be safe for me to travel in about a month. Ahh, aside from seeing family and friends back home I look forward to finally eating food I like. Here's my itinerary:

Vigan

Longganisa

Empanada

Manila 

Spaghetti from Makati Supermart Coffeeshop in Alabang

Cheeseburger from Dayrit's

Jollibee, of course

And my first glass of cherry beer at Shift Restobar in Guijo, Makati

Pad Thai at Krung Thai in Marikina

Baguio

Strawberry Shortcake from Cafe by the Ruins (and loads of strawberries)

Buffalo Wings from Don Henrico's (it has to be in Baguio because I can eat the chicken there)

Bicol

Pasta Pinangat in Albay

Chiffon Cake and Pambonete from Casa Moderna

My Tita Olive's cooking

Cebu

A feast at AA Barbecue with my AA buddies Jerome, Andrew, Sweetie and hopefully with the girls, Chelle, Anne, Celine, Mitch and Jomar (no Jomar isn't a girl haha)

Boneless Crispy Pata from Dessert Factory

Bacolod

Bottomless cakes from Calea

Eating mangoes at Carbin Reef

Iloilo

Tuna Taco at Bauhinia (I hope it's still open!)

Davao

Pork Marinara, Unforgettable Pork Ribs and yummy cakes at Lachi's

Cagayan de Oro/Bukidnon

Cakes and pizza margherita at Candy's

A feast at Panagatan

Steak at Del Monte Golf Club

General Santos/Saranggani

A feast at Saranggani Highlands with my friends

Tuna kilawin and grilled tuna at Ranchero Grill

Making this post has seriously made me hungry.

Humpty Dumpty

A few weeks back I felt like Humpty Dumpty. I felt my body was broken and seriously needed to be put back together again. I had to walk around clutching a pillow to support my chest because if I didn't I felt my heart might just disengage. Of course I exaggerate, I'm pretty sure my doctor made sure my heart wouldn't just fall off. It just needed to heal together with my broken sternum.

I'm happy to report that from 8 to 6 to 4 tablets of painkillers per day I've been making do with just one now. My doctor (and Sweetie) was pretty concerned that I might get addicted to it already. Well, I forgot to drink the painkiller last Saturday evening and decided I was ready to just drink it whenever I felt pain. It's Monday today and I've just been drinking one painkiller per day now.

I've also been feeling like the old me. In the last few years I've had to live more simply. For those who've just met me in the last 6 years you'd probably think I never wear high heeled shoes or wear make-up. Ten years ago in my former job I used to come to work in stilettos, fully made up and I was very much like Elle Woods. Kikay. I had a gazillion accessories (most of them I made) and had closets-full of clothes and more than a hundred bags. I was a good 10-15 pounds thinner then (blame the Google 15 for my current weight) and was having so much fun going out with friends. I can say I was a totally different person before 2008.

In the last few years I've just felt feeling more tired every day especially after I had pneumonia/heart failure. Typhoon Ondoy took away my shoe collection and most of my clothes and ever since I just thought it would be better to live my life simply. My quality of life had become affected. Now I feel much more like the old me and the first indication is I'm writing more and I feel like there's a well of energy inside me wanting to be released. And I seriously want to go out and shop for a new set of clothes (but I don't want to wear high heels anymore), accessories (maybe I'll start making some again) and bags. Well that's just on the surface level and I think the practical person in me wouldn't really splurge (I'm planning to follow my VP's wife advice about how much stuff to have).

The last few weeks I've been home since my second discharge from the hospital has been therapeutic. I've managed to re-connect with friends (through social media) and I can say I have a social life of sorts. I'm stuck at home but have been getting a lot of visits. I realized that in the last decade I've shied away from opening myself fully to new friendships. I've been very cautious because of some traumatic experiences that broke my heart figuratively. I'm so happy I've been given this break to re-connect and strengthen old ties. This has helped me avoid the post-heart-surgery depression trap which a lot of patients go through.

But unlike Humpty Dumpty with the grace of God and love of my family and friends I'm slowly being put together again.

So this is what 100% blood flow means ;)

Faith and Love

Last night I forgot to drink my painkillers. I just took one tablet in the morning yesterday since I thought it would be good to aggressively wean away from drinking painkillers. My cardio also said that it would be really good if I stop drinking medicine already so I will likely be off my meds by end of this week.

When I woke up in ICU the day after surgery my reaction was, "OMG I survived and I'm alive!" I immediately said a prayer of thanks. I did not expect though to experience a lot of pain weeks following surgery. From my readings I missed the fact that the surgeon would break my sternum during surgery and this would cause a lot of pain. I was given different kinds of painkillers but sometimes the pain would just be unbearable. I would just pray for healing and strength whenever this happened.

I surprisingly woke up today feeling much better than a week ago. After a short trip to have lunch at the office I just stayed home the past few days resting. My new found friend Eng, a pharmacist based in Australia, mentioned that I need lots of rest so my heart and other organs can adjust back to each other. I didn't know that going through surgery requires a lot of rest and physiotherapy. I had to re-learn how to sit up, walk and breathe.

I couldn't do things on my own. I couldn't bath myself nor dress myself, couldn't lift a mug, couldn't open the fridge. I couldn't get up without help. Sweetie had to spoon feed me when I was in the hospital because I kept falling a sleep and lifting the spoon was just hard. I've been pretty useless the past 2 months. I'm better now though. I can breathe better, can walk, can bath and dress myself, done some cooking with help, can lift a glass of water and can lift my old laptop (but not yet carry it around). All these because of the love and patience of my family and friends who have been cheering me on.

Faith and love, important ingredients for recovery :)

My Heart Valve Surgery Timeline

Each patient reacts and recuperates differently according to the book I read. I'm definitely one of those who deviated from the process since it's taking me a long time to recover. Thought I'd post and update my timeline here on my blog:

Photo taken while I was waiting for surgery time.

January 7 - surgery day. Admitted in the morning. Surgery originally scheduled at 1 in the afternoon but started at 3 in the afternoon. It was supposed to last just 2.5 hours, but mine took 4.5 hours. Doc mentioned that I had responded differently to the heart-lung machine and they had a hard time getting to my heart because of the lake of veins I had inside.

This was a nervous smile.

January 7 - 10 - 4 days in ICU instead of just a night. I luckily woke up without a tube in my mouth, but was very thirsty. Nurse made me some Milo and I luckily didn't have an allergy. Actually saw doctor take out 2 long tubes from my tummy. He said he had to leave it in longer because I had difficulty breathing. Started to use the spiro, dismally at only 400 ml. Started wearing stockings to prevent DVT.

Taken the afternoon I was transferred from ICU with my good friend Tappy.

January 10, afternoon - moved to a 2-bed ward. The other patient was so noisy and causing me stress. Had a hard time coping alone in the evening. Started to feel extreme back pains.

January 11 - moved to single room. Felt much better but still couldn't get out of bed. Noticed I had a lot of things stuck on my body. Most of the meds were coming in through my neck (meep). Spiro results started to increase. Started to have a hard time sleeping.

January 12 - finally got to stand up and start using the bathroom to pee. Badly wanted to wash my hair. My brother flew in from Jakarta for a surprise visit.

Google Hangout with my nephews in Jakarta. (Had to teach my brother and the kids how to use it)

January 14 - Filipino nurse Ate Yoly who reminds me on my favorite aunt, Tita Olive, gave me a full bath. Felt much more human after she washed my hair. Started walking around the ward with assistance (short distance). Took several breaks in between (more like every ten steps). Started to feel more back pain and couldn't sleep lying down.

My first full bath! 

January 15 - 22 - Doc said I had water in my lungs so they gave me meds to reduce it. Practiced walking everyday. Spiro results were at 750 ml maximum. Pain in back more apparent in the events. Barely sleeping at night. Also started to have asthma attacks. No appetite.

My former team mates come and visit with lots of goodies. 

These slippers certainly kept me warm and became popular in my hospital wing.

January 22 - Doc thought I'd recover faster at home and I was discharged after 16 days in the hospital. The first car ride was horrific, felt nauseous all throughout the trip home. Took several breaks walking up to my apartment. Promptly had an asthma attack when I got home. It lasted until evening.

I was pretty cheerful because of meds, but was having severe back pains 

during this time and was barely sleeping.

January 23 - 27 - recurring asthma attacks but still managed to sit up all day. Took naps after lunch and had to walk around the house with assistance. Could not take a bath and dress up independently. Gained back my appetite slowly. Had to use wheelchair when I visited the doctor and couldn't lie down on bed. Had to sleep sitting up.

January 28 - February 3 - had good days and bad days. Bad days meant I'd be coughing all day. Lost appetite whenever I was coughing. Jay went home on February 3.

February 6 - check up with doctors. Ended up getting readmitted. Emergency surgery done to remove fluid in my pericardium. Two drains were installed to drain fluid from my lungs. The 20 minute surgery lasted 2.5 hours.

February 7 - 11 - 5 day stay in ICU. One of the drains were taken out after 3 days. Received blood transfusion.

February 11 - 18 - moved to a single room after 5 days. Felt sad leaving the nice ICU nurses. Spiro results improved to 1,250 ml but went down to 1,000 when the drain was taken out on February 16. It was a relief to get rid of the alien fluids and this is the time I felt I was really on the right road to recovery.

February 18 - discharged from the hospital. Able to move the house unassisted. Filipino nurse Ate Jona gave me a complete bath.

*Didn't have much photos during this period because I felt so sick.

February 18 - 24 - was able to take a bath and dress myself independently although had to wear lose clothes. Some of the newer wounds still felt painful but the painkillers definitely helped. Didn't need a wheelchair when we went to see the doctor and to have my xray taken. Survived eating out at Marche and IKEA (separate days), but still walked very slowly.

February 24 - was able to drink coffee without having an asthma attack. Medicines greatly reduced, but had chest pains all day.

February 25 - made an emergency appointment with doctor because I still had chest pains in the morning. Doctor said it was probably because of the change in medicines. Felt much better after spending time with friends who visited.

February 27 - ventured out and had lunch at work. Went down the stairs and promptly got extremely tired.

Heart Support Pillow

Prior to my surgery I read Adam Pick's book, "Patient's Guide to Heart Valve Surgery". One of the things he mentioned was a patient would need to support his/her chest after surgery. When I got out of ICU the nurse made a small pillow made out of folded towel for me to use as support for my chest. I clutched on it whenever I moved, coughed and walked around. I felt like I had to support my heart lest it falls off.

I did the same when I went home. Jay made a small pillow for me also with a folded towel to use as support. Later on I felt it was too hard so he bought a small pillow for me. It didn't feel all that comfortable though so I bought a heart-shaped pillow from IKEA. It had the right softness and was good support whenever I felt like lying on my self. The drawback though it was too huge and having told hold a pillow was tiresome.

My niece, Patricia, a fashion designer (she designed my wedding entourage's gowns) made a new pillow for me. It was the perfect size, thickness and it was soft and firm enough to use as a support pillow for my chest. It also had straps so it lessened the need to support it with my arms. Here's the prototype of the pillow:

Interested to buy a heart support pillow? Inquire here.

The 8-inch Wound

My Mom made sure I didn't have any unsightly scars (especially on my legs). She was pretty strict when I was a child and she didn't allow me to play on the street. It didn't stop me though from going over our gate and playing outside or learning how to use a skateboard. Oh the scoldings I used to get! I guess I've always been the adventurous type.

Now I have this ghastly 8-inch scar across my chest. My doctor said it was supposed to be shorter, but I guess because of the complications they had to make it bigger. And then there are a few other smaller wounds from the second surgery I had to drain the fluid from my pericardium (heart sac) and lungs. Last January after my first discharge I started to cry when Sweetie was dressing me up. He asked me what was wrong and I said, "I'm so ugly now." He immediately reassured me that I wasn't ugly and that my wounds were going to settle and eventually go away.

It's been a month since that day and the main wound has indeed settled. It just looks like I have a red line on my chest. The smaller wounds are all drying up and shrinking. Time does heal all wounds, literally and figuratively. I'm so lucky I have a very loving and understanding husband. I guess I'll just have to suck it in and buy a tankini in case we go swimming this summer haha.

I'm now able to dress myself. It's still quite hard though to remove clothing but I've found a great solution -- shopping for clothes that would be easy to take off! I'm mindful though to keep my wound covered whenever I go out to prevent infection. I now see my scar though as a stamp. A new lease to live longer and provide my family a better quality of life when I'm better. And well I can still show off my thunder thighs since that part of me is still scar-free. 

Happy Golden Birthday to my Kuya!

Happy, happy golden birthday to my favorite, one and only, Kuya.

I wanted to post a photo of him carrying me when I was a baby to show that he was already a teenager when I was born. Unfortunately though the scanned photos are in my desktop in Manila.

My Kuya is is your stereotype of what an older brother should be -- protective, affectionate, a mentor, pilyo (naughty), spiritual and annoying (every so often). We were like cat and dog growing up because I'd always play my "bunso card" whenever I got annoyed with him.

It was my Kuya though who got me interested in computers. He enrolled me in logo programming summer class in Don Bosco. I'd stay with him in his office in Dutch Boy and take a short jeepney ride to school. He painstakingly taught me how to use his XT computer (which I later on inherited) and convinced our parents to upgrade my PC before I went to college. Through the years he guided me with my career decisions, taking an MBA and one thing he taught me to do was how to make an awesome resume.

My Kuya got married when I was just 14 years old so through the years I saw him less and less especially when he moved to Jakarta. He made sure we'd spend quality time whenever we were together. He's always been generous and spent for trips so we could come visit him. And he's the one who originally spent for my cardio visits in Singapore.

When I was in ICU after my surgery my Mom said I mumbled, "I want my Kuya." I remember I wanted to see my Dad but realized he's in heaven already and I instead said I wanted to see my brother. Two days later he surprised me by showing up in the hospital. He dropped everything he had planned for that weekend to come see me. Few weeks later he showed up at my apartment and spent the few hours of transit time he had to cook for me his special spaghetti.

I cannot imagine my life without my Kuya. We do still fight every so often, but he's more understanding now knowing I'm not supposed to get stressed (hehehe).

Happy, happy birthday Kuya! I was hoping to be there for your birthday but I'm still stuck in Singapore recuperating. I lent Mom to you though for a few days, but please return her tomorrow. Haha. Love you!