Did I Make It?

It was my Dad who loved to write. Through the years Mom gave me his love letters to her and his writings. I found a "retrospect" in one of his papers (you can read about it here). He was just 26 when he wrote it and I think Mom gave it to me because I was feeling lost when Dad passed. I guess it helped because my life completely changed later that year when I moved to Singapore. 

We're still going through boxes of our stuff and yesterday I found my Orient3 papers. That was the very last class you take before graduation and was meant to help you plan life after school. I'm actually surprised this document survived the multiple floods we had at home (the worst was Typhoon Ondoy). And TBH the only thing I remember about the paper was writing my requirements for my first job. 

There was a section where we had to define our goals. You have to define the life areas, then break down goals into 5 years, then 10 years, and your immediate goals. I broke down my life areas into career, Miggy, love, family and spiritual life. So, this is my retrospect. 

Career - I surprised my GPA target and was 0.2 shy of an award. Got gold for our thesis and completed my MBA by the age of 25 (yes, I was such a nerd). I also met all my career goals much earlier than I targeted. An additional goal set by Kuya was for me to be financially free by 50. I retired at age 46. 

Miggy - I think every parent's wish is for their child to be successful. I think I was able to do that for Miggy and I'm letting him do what he wants to do. I really wanted him to have siblings, but my health didn't allow that to happen. I understand now why I had him early because I was really meant to be a Mom. 

Love - oh, this is where things went haywire. I did not meet my 10 year target. God took His sweet time writing my love story. The path to my forever wasn't an easy one, but all I can say is, true love heals.

Family - it's almost 3 decades now since I wrote those goals and so much has happened. My parents were very strict, but at some point our relationship changed to something more relaxed and chill. They worried a lot about me especially that decade after graduating from college. Mom and Dad are both gone now and I'd like to believe I made them proud.

Spiritual - I did eventually go back to serving in church. I served until I moved to Singapore. This is the part where I struggled a lot when I was away because I grew up serving. It felt like I was missing something. 

c2012

It's been a long bumpy road, littered with a lot of potholes and humps. The journey was painful, but I was always focused on my goals and what mattered and I always leaned on Him. I am where I am and have what I have because of Him.  

So did I make it? My 21-year old self would probably be overwhelmed if she knew what was up ahead. I worked really hard for 25 years and I'm retired now. Just let Him navigate your life and everything will be alright. :)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)