Forgiving and Accepting Yourself

Last night I almost went down the "Why is this happening to me?" road. I managed to stop myself because I've already resolved that question awhile back. I read somewhere that when you're faced with challenges it's better to look at it from a different perspective. Instead of asking "Why is this happening to me?", ask "What am I supposed to learn from this?" or "Is there a new mission God wants me to do?"

At some point during this harrowing journey with my weird health I got tired from overthinking. I blamed myself for getting sick and for not taking care of myself better. For not heeding the many signs that was leading to my current condition. I'm lucky I have a friend who kept reminding me that I shouldn't think about it that way. No one could have predicted that I would get sick, not even my doctors. 

My friend also kept reminding me not to feel guilty that I had to rest. I've always been on the go since high school. My Mom would always say, "Baka nasosobrahan ka na. Magpahinga ka naman!" I felt really guilty that I was not contributing especially since I know I was needed. It would break my heart whenever my teammates and partners would tell me they missed me. Good thing my friend was patient at reminding me that it's okay not to be okay and I shouldn't feel guilty about it. 

I guess it hit me hard because my love language is "acts of service". Not being able to do my work was unforgivable. Eventually I got tired of beating myself up and finally listened to my friend. I finally like the new me. I wake up, eat breakfast, drink my meds and go about my new no-pressure, no-stress normal. Stress is really bad for me as I learned the other day (nosebleeds all-day ftw). So I've been taking things one day at a time and just leaving everything to God's Will. 

Day 15 Minimalism challenge, Evaluate your last 5 purchases. Uh-oh... these are my last 5 purchases:

 (1) Just ordered lunch even though I still have leftovers in the fridge. 

(2) Essential oils - I could have probably omitted one of the four I got, but I got it for stock and I got a free one that I was planning to buy next time, so might've been a good trade-off. 

(3) CBTL coffee beans and merienda - coffee beans yes for everyday coffee, but could have skipped the merienda since their food has always been blah. 

(4) Cable holder, for future use, wasn't really needed (but it was so cheap!). 

(5) Small device bag - also got this for future use when we go home, could have probably skipped buying since I'm not really going anywhere when I get home noh?

I should seriously stick to my weekly allowance and determine what I really need :')

CB///*Yr2/125 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/148 #NewG321 #Home79 #StayHome #BeKind