What is God Disciplining Me For?

The readings the last few days has been about trusting in God more. Last night's reflection on Didache asked about what you think is God disciplining you on. I've been reflecting on this the past few days since I'm working on defining my core. After watching Bo Sanchez' Fulltank vid I realized one of the issues I've always struggled with is saying no.

 

I realized this further when I watched one Queer Eye episode where they made over the life of an 18-year old. The story brought me back to those days I was young and already crazy busy. That was the time my Mom would always tell me to rest. I was always doing so many things and accepting projects left and right. I'm still the same to this day. 

That has been my nature and it's been open to abuse. I know my limits, but it doesn't take much to pester me to say yes. I end up feeling guilty when I say no. I haven't slept well because I have been avoiding getting roped me to something that would surely stress me out. I've had to tell myself again and again that I am still recovering and stress will not be good for me. 

I have survived two pulmonary embolisms in the last 28 months. I survived TWICE. And one of the things that I must really, really learn is to say no. Just say no and don't feel guilty about it. I've known this since my first PE and it's why I took a break before, but I slid back last year and the stress affected my health severely. 

And that's one of my prayers, for me to learn how to say no and not to feel guilty about it so I can take of myself better. I hope I can take away this feeling of guilt so I can rest soundly at night. I need to be able to sleep well so my body can heal better. Please pray for me as I journey through this healing process. 

CB///301 #StuckAtHomeDay/331 #StayHome #BeKind